Friday column: Three pleas, six points

Michael Phelps wants to be treated like any other 23-year-old.

“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Phelps said after a photo emerged showing him taking a bong hit at a college party.

“I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

Three points:

1) Your garden-variety 23-year-old doesn’t make millions of dollars in endorsements. Now, to be sure, Michael, the $100 million your agent said you could earn in your lifetime would be due to your gold medals, not your wholesome lifestyle. But make no mistake: Your sponsors are not paying you to advertise illegal drugs.

2) Twenty-three may be young — but it ain’t 16, either.

3) Your promise that this will not happen again is nice, except you basically promised the same thing after you were arrested on drunken-driving charges at age 19. Adding to the mix is a recent quote from an anonymous party-goer who said that Phelps was “out of control from the moment he got there.”

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Roger Clemens is concerned about credibility.

This in the wake of a Washington Post story that states, “Scientific tests have linked Roger Clemens’ DNA to blood in syringes that a personal trainer says he used to inject the former star pitcher with performance-enhancing drugs, according to two sources familiar with the investigation.”

Clemens, through lawyer Rusty Hardin, is attacking anew the trustworthiness of Brian McNamee, claiming “I would be dumbfounded if any responsible person ever found this to be reliable or credible evidence in any way.”

Two points:

1) After Hardin’s thus-far dismal performance as Clemens’ attorney, I wouldn’t put great stock in his opinion.

2) After his disastrous appearance at a 2008 congressional hearing, the only person Clemens could best in a credibility contest right now is Bernie Madoff.

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Barry Bonds is worried about fairness.

Bonds, though his attorneys, wants evidence showing he used performance-enhancing drugs in 2000, 2001 and 2003 tossed out of his upcoming perjury trial. His lawyers also asked that information about positive drug tests not be released to the public as it could, they said, hinder Bonds’ ability to get a fair trial.

One point: Bonds is one of the biggest cheaters (you can take that in two senses) in the history of the game, and now he’s concerned about “fairness”? Quick, somebody, an irony-meter!

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.