Smooth — but believable?

So.

Urban Meyer checked himself into a hospital — except he didn’t.

It turns out his wife called 911 because he had had chest pains and was non-responsive.

Meyer has lied from the get-go on this, first stating not only that he had checked himself into the hospital but saying that it was for dehydration. He only later admitted feeling chest pain.

What else is the Florida football coach not being truthful about? Is he really coming back to coach the Gators after his “leave of absence,” or was his apparent 180 all about keeping Florida’s recruits in place? If so, is there a financial reward for doing so?

Sorry to sound so distrustful, Urban, but you’ve not given the press really much reason to believe you.

I like this idea

News item: The NBA has fined the Knicks’ Nate Robinson $25,000 for a trade demand made by his agent.

Comment: If we’re going to start fining players for agents, may I suggest Major League Baseball fine all of Scott Boras’ clients … simply for being Scott Boras’ clients.

Maybe Leach is the one with the concussion

A test for Mike Leach:

1) How many fingers am I holding up?

Now,

2) What DECADE is it?

Friday column: In sports, a sorry state of affairs

A few days ago, The Associated Press named its 2009 Athletes of the Year.

Big whup.

The AP didn’t touch the most fiercely contested category of athletic accomplishment — Apologizer of the Year. The Anti-Fan will bravely step into the breach.

Let’s start with the men.

Right away, I know what you’re thinking: Tiger.

Now, it’s true that Woods would bag Scandal of the Year, Screw-up of the Year or Disappearance of the Year, but his Web site progression from silence to admitted “transgressions” to admitted “infidelities,” while interesting, hardly rates a blip on the apology radar screen.

Unlike the mea culpa of the NBA’s Brendan Haywood, who, after questioning the sexual orientation of Stephon Marbury, issued a statement of regret with a classic apology element — throwing someone else under the bus.

“I wasn’t trying to come off like Tim Hardaway,” Haywood blogged, essentially saying, “Hey, I might be a homophobe — but I’m not a homophobe like Hardaway! Remember him? He was awful.”

But Haywood’s apology can’t compare with that of this year’s Male Apologizer of the Year — Alex Rodriguez.

A-Rod’s apology tour began in February after Serena Roberts broke the news that he had failed a Major League Baseball drug test in 2003.

First came an ESPN interview in which the slugger, who had denied steroid use loudly and long, said he was “very sorry and deeply regretful” — but not sorry enough to forgo bashing Roberts, whom he bizarrely accused of “stalking” him and trying to break into his home.

That led to his second apology — a phone call to Roberts. Next came an apology to Rangers owner Tom Hicks — for whom he played during his drug days — followed by a news conference in which he apologized to his Yankee manager, his Yankee teammates, his Yankee fans, the metropolis of New York and the entire civilized world.

Through it all, A-Rod managed to summon excuse after excuse, and actually insist that for three years he had had no idea what was being injected into his rump. That’s an all-time sports apology.

On the women’s side, we have a home-state contestant, Lobos soccer player Elizabeth Lambert, who apologized for a thuggish display against BYU while at the same time explaining that the uproar was because of 1) poor refereeing; 2) fan ignorance about the intricacies of the game; 3) mistaken identity; and 4) last but not least, gender bias.

That’s an impressive apology performance for a youngster, but not enough to wrest the women’s crown from Serena Williams, whose “regret” over cursing and threatening a lineswoman had to be dragged out of her over three days — and even then came with the requisite excuse: “I’m a very intense person and a very emotional person.”

Bravo, Serena. Bravo.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Growing up, growing better

Recommended reading: Jeffri Chadiha's ESPN piece on Ron Woodson, a player who came into the league with both talent and an attitude. Now with Green Bay, the veteran cornerback still has the talent but attitude has gone through an adjustment, and that adjustment affects everything Woodson does on — and off — the field.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/columns/story?page=hotread15/Woodson

Sounds reasonable to me

So.

The 2006 Land Rover that Southern Cal tailback Joe McKnight has been driving isn’t his — it’s his girlfriend’s.

OK.

And the car was registered not by the girlfriend, but by the girlfriend's boss, Scott Schenter, just because he’s a good guy.

OK.

And Schenter has no dreams of turning his relationship with McKnight into a marketing opportunity, just because he bought the Web site www.joemcknight4.com and has a company called “USC Marketing.”

OK.

And Schenter didn’t respond to questions about all this at first because he was in South Africa and the “internet is very expensive to use” there.

OK.

And everyone is telling the truth — even though McKnight obviously lied when he denied driving the car (he had been seen behind the wheel several times by reporters).

OK.

And McKnight might not play in Saturday’s Emerald Bowl because it’s all a big misunderstanding.

OK.

And the USC administration is investigating possible NCAA violations because of the misunderstanding.

OK

And we’re all dumb as a box of rocks.

OK.

On the way, maybe — but not there

Chris Henry, we’re told, had finally figured it out. He had turned his life around. He had put himself on the right path.

From the reaction of the locker room to his death, it’s certain the Bengal wide receiver was popular with his teammates, and it’s understandable they — along with team executives and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell — would speak words of praise in wake of his passing.

But about that passing …

Henry either fell or jumped from the back of a moving truck in the midst of an reported domestic dispute with Loleini Tonga, his fiancée and the mother of his three children. Tonga, the truck’s driver, was trying to get away from Henry. Witnesses heard him say, “If you take off, I'm going to jump out and kill myself.”

Henry apparently was in the process of change, and we’ll never know the person he might have become. But from the circumstances of his death, one thing is clear: The young man was a long way from figuring it all out.

Friday column: Time to get in touch with reality

I thought it a good thing when the NFL reinstated Michael Vick, and I believe that Vick, for the most part, has handled his return pretty well.

I root for him to continue to rebuild his life. America, after all, is a redemption nation. And today is Christmas, which is the beginning of a redemption story.

For all that, I was taken back by word that Vick’s Philadelphia Eagles teammates had voted him the Ed Block Courage Award, given to players throughout the league who exemplify commitment to the principles of sportsmanship and courage.

No doubt going from a luxe life to prison following his conviction for running a dogfighting ring was difficult, and coming back and facing the public’s scrutiny and, in some cases, hostility, was difficult.

On the other hand, what was he going to do? He knows how to do one thing: play football, and this year he’s being paid $1.6 million to do so. Next year, if the Eagles pick up his option, he’ll be paid $5.2 million.

Courage? Really?

“I’ve overcome a lot, more than probably one single individual can handle or bear,” Vick said. “You ask certain people to walk through my shoes, they probably couldn’t do. Probably 95 percent of the people in this world because nobody had to endure what I’ve been through …”

Has Vick actually taken a look at what so many people in the world have to endure on a daily basis? His comment suggests he still thinks of himself — to some degree — as a victim. If that’s the case, his teammates didn’t do him any favors by honoring him for his “courage.”

* * *

As Vick, it appears, still has enablers to buffer his encounter with reality, so does Tiger Woods. No one in sport was bigger than Woods, and the bigger the athlete/celebrity, the bigger the entourage.

Think of how many people must have known about his serial infidelities, and not only stood by and watch as he put his family at risk, but actively helped, setting up rendezvous and covering his tracks.

Such a favor they did him.

Even now, he has “friends” making excuses for his behavior, saying such things as the public doesn’t understand the pressure he was under. Now, Woods’ agent, Mark Steinberg, is beseeching the media, “Let’s please give the kid a break.”

Kid? In five days, Woods turns 34. He may have acted like a adolescent, but a third of his life is gone. Woods needs to start acting like an adult.

This cannot be a merry Christmas for Woods or any part of his family. Next year’s could be better. But to make it so, Woods need to do many things, including come out from behind his protective barriers and facing the world — sans sycophants.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

A great thing — for fixers

So.

David Stern thinks nationwide legalized gambling on NBA games might be a “huge opportunity” and a great thing for the league.

Stern, aka “the smartest guy in the room,” might want to check with FIFA President Seff Blatter, and see how legalized betting on soccer in Europe is helping “the beautiful game,” mired in a widespread, ugly and violent match-fixing scandal.

Counselor, I think I’d try a different defense

Canadian Dr. Anthony Galea, a sports medicine specialist who has treated hundreds of athletes, is being investigated for smuggling, advertising and selling unapproved drugs as well as criminal conspiracy.

Galea and his lawyer say his treatments do not break any laws or violate antidoping rules in sport.

“We’re confident that an investigation of Galea will lead to his total vindication,” Brian H. Greenspan, Galea’s criminal-defense lawyer, said. “Dr. Galea was never engaged in any wrongdoing or any impropriety. Not only does he have a reputation that is impeccable, he is a person at the very top of his profession.”

At the very top of his profession? Wow, I guess he can’t be guilty then. But wait, wasn’t Barry Bonds at the very top of his profession when he apparently lied and cheated? Wasn’t Roger Clemens at the top of his? Wasn’t Marion Jones at the top of hers?

As a defense, “at the very top of his profession” leaves a lot to be desired.

Lighten up, Roy Boy

Apparently, when it comes to North Carolina basketball, not only is a discouraging word seldom heard, it’s actually prohibited.

Recently, the Tar Heels hosted tiny Presbyterian College from Clinton, S.C., in the Dean Dome, and a visiting fan had the temerity to yell at a Tar Heel shooting a free throw.

Wrong move.

North Carolina coach Roy Williams had three cops — three! — remove the fan from the stands. No word on whether Williams also wanted the man beaten with a rubber hose, just to drive the lesson home.

During the post-game press conference, Williams told reporters he had the fan removed because he doesn't think that "anybody should yell anything negative at our players. Period."

Oh.

Friday column: Looking for probity in a Tiger world

Put not your trust in princes, Psalm 146 advises, and the counsel is as good now as the day it was written.

Millions of fans put their trust in Tiger Woods, golf’s crown prince — not just in his ability, though that was key, but also in the type of person they were led to believe he was.

Now, it turns out he’s not a prince among men in his personal behavior; and with his being linked to a doctor suspected of providing performance-enhancing drugs, perhaps his play on the links of the world isn’t all that princely, either.

Woods, of course, isn’t the only sports figure to disappoint recently, but even while remembering the psalmic wisdom, it isn’t necessary or helpful to allow that disappointment to morph into a “they all do it” mentality. There are examples, both distant and recent, of better behavior:

* Brian Kelly, meet John Wooden.

Kelly, head football coach at the University of Cincinnati, jumped to take the Notre Dame job after promising his Bearcats that he wasn’t going anywhere.

In contrast, in the early days of his career, John Wooden turned down a job he wanted in the Midwest for the simple reason he’d already agreed to go to UCLA. No, he hadn’t signed anything; he’d just given his word. His word was enough.

* Michigan State Nine, meet Shaky Smithson.

Nine Spartan football players have been charged with assault and conspiracy in connection with a fight at the campus residence hall of Iota Phi Theta. One of the players, involved in a dispute with the fraternity the night before, apparently called on some football buddies to help even the score, and they responded — thereby hurting other students, themselves, their team and their university.

In a sense-of-responsibility contrast, Smithson, a 22-year-old receiver for the Utah Utes, this season took on the extra burden of becoming the legal guardian of his 15-year-old brother in order to get him out of a dangerous Baltimore neighborhood. Marveled a teammate, “I can’t imagine taking on everything we have, as far as football and school goes, and then taking that responsibility on your shoulders as well.”

* Randy Moss, meet … well, any number of guys.

The pouting Patriots receiver took a day off Sunday when New England played Carolina. No — he played; he just didn’t play very hard.

But receivers such as Donald Driver and Hines Ward — or for that matter, Moss’ own teammate Wes Welker — never take plays off, let alone games, regardless of how their psyches are on a particular day.

* Tiger Woods, meet A.C. Green.

Since 2004, Woods has been marketed as a devoted family man, but the image and the truth are at odds. On the other hand, Green, who said his religious beliefs precluded pre-marital sex, began and ended his 15-year NBA career as a virgin. Green married a year into retirement, and no cocktail waitress, hostess or lingerie model has come forward to say his behavior and words weren’t absolutely congruent.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Not using his head

Tuesday’s apology or no, I doubt Hines Ward is still on Ben Roethlisberger’s best-buddy list after publicly questioning why the quarterback didn’t play in the Steelers’ 20-17 loss to Baltimore.

Roethlisberger only had suffered a concussion the Sunday before and had experienced exercise-induced headaches the week before the game. What’s the big deal?

After the game, Ward told an interview that the Steelers players were split 50-50 on whether Roethlisberger should have played. He also said he himself had lied to doctors and played with concussions, adding that, “these games, you don’t get back.”

Hines, you know what also you don’t get back once it’s gone? Your brain.

At one point in the interview, Ward boasted, “I’m a competitor.”

If this is how you really think, Hines, you’re also a fool. So be a fool with your own brain, and leave your teammates’ brains — and futures — to them.

Silence not always golden

Poor Tim Floyd.

The former Southern California basketball coach is aggrieved the USC administration didn’t support him when a former handler for O.J. Mayo — Floyd’s onetime one-season star — said he had received an envelope full of cash from Floyd, and that Mayo received gifts and money while playing for the Trojans.

All serious NCAA violations.

Floyd, who has hooked on as an assistant with the NBA’s New Orleans Hornets, is also unhappy so many people believe he was dirty.

“O.J. came to us, no shenanigans, no promises of money, of anything. O.J. the young man lived his college life with no car, no apartment. I just wish people would do research.”

Well, Tim, I did some research — on you, and I discovered that in the wake of Louis Johnson’s allegations, you said nothing — nada, niente, bupkis — to defend yourself. You ran from reporters with same speed Mayo uses in jacking up a shot.

Then you quit.

Now, the Garbo routine and the quitting might not be proof of guilt, but it doesn’t make me feel disposed to believe you now.

The epitome of class

So.

Georgia football coach Mark Richt fires three defensive coaches but asks them to coach in the team’s upcoming bowl game.

In other words, in order to save his job, he’s throwing them under the bus, essentially saying, “Hey, I recruited just fine — it’s your coaching that screwed everything up … Now come help me further my career with a bowl win.”

Old Reliable, Requiescat In Pace

I got to know a little bit about Tommy Henrich from reading books such as David Halberstam’s fine book Summer of ’49, and everything I learned about Henrich was positive.

Work habits. Teamwork. Clutch play. All exemplary.

His life away from the ballpark apparently also qualifies.

Henrich, who died Tuesday at 96, even made an impression on the cynical Casey Stengel, his manager for two seasons with the Yankees:

“He’s a fine judge of a fly ball,” the Old Professor told The New Yorker in 1949. “He fields grounders like an infielder. He never makes a wrong throw, and if he comes back to the hotel at 3 in the morning when we’re on the road and says he’s been sitting up with a sick friend, he’s been sitting up with a sick friend.”

Isn't there a law against this?

News bulletin: Hoftra, which has been playing football since the university’s founding in 1937, will play it no longer.

“The cost of the football program, now and in the future, far exceeds the return possible,” Hofstra president Stuart Rabinowitz said Thursday.

Rabinowitz said the $4.5 million spent annually on the team will be used on need-based scholarships and other priorities.

A school using money used for academic scholarships when it could be used for athletics? That’s crazy!

Friday column: Tiger, Tiger, not burning so bright

Do you know how I know Tiger Woods — the No. 1 athletic icon on the planet — has really messed up?

It’s not that the National Enquirer claims Woods had an affair with a New York “VIP host.”

It’s not that US Weekly alleges he had a two-year affair with a cocktail waitress.

It’s not that the New York Daily News says he had a fling with a Las Vegas nightclub promoter.

It’s not that he crashed his car into a fire hydrant and a tree at 2:25 in the morning and that his wife was wielding a 3-iron.

It’s not that Woods is vaguely apologizing for letting his family down and is begging for privacy.

OK, yes — it is all those things. But it’s also this: the caliber of people rushing to his defense.

“I don’t really care what happened between Tiger and … whatever happened. I’m just glad he’s OK,” said John Daly, whose personal life is a cross between a country-western song and a train wreck.

“Everybody made a big deal out of it, but it’s not a big deal because the only one perfect is God,” said Ron Artest, best known for a brawl he started in the stands in Detroit and a man who recently appeared on national TV in his boxer shorts.

Well, Ron, I know you’re so rarely wrong, but it is a big deal, and very surprising. Not surprising as in Wow, Woods is not the perfect person his carefully crafted image would suggest, but surprising as in Wow, he apparently thought he could keep the image while behaving like Bill Clinton on a Viagra drip.

I mean, did he really think he could cavort with a bimbo or three and not have word get out — from the bimbos at the very least? According to US Weekly, Woods left 300 text messages on the phone of the L.A. cocktail waitress — 300!

Though, really, one would have been too many — especially one like the voice mail he allegedly left last week asking the waitress to change the ID on her phone so that his wife wouldn’t recognize it.

Instead, the waitress reportedly sold the sound bite and her story for a hundred large, evidentally surprising Woods, who perhaps had convinced himself he was dating her for her character.

A hundred large, of course, is piffle. Reports are that Woods already has transferred $5 million into his wife’s account and, when not engaged in daily marriage counseling sessions — those must be fun — is rewriting the couple’s prenuptial agreement in a way that could cost him $55 million.

So it’s good news that Nike, Gatorade and other companies Woods makes money for are standing by their dollar — I mean, by their man — for now, anyway. Still, endorsement psychology is based on the idea that the consumer in some sense wants to be the endorser — and I don’t think anyone wants to be Tiger Woods right now.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Their usefulness used up, off they go

So.

Drs. Ira Casson and David Viano, the NFL’s deniers-in-chief, have been tossed — OK, nudged — from the NFL’s committee on brain injuries.

Well and good.

Still, not to be too cynical, but I can’t help but think the good doctors served their purpose for the league.

For years, the NFL thought it was in its best interests to disavow a clear link between the game, head injuries and dementia, and Casson and Viano gave the league what it considered plausible deniability.

As the deniability became less and less plausible, Casson and Viano became liabilities. Now that the league apparently is shifting its strategy on concussion, the two simply had to go.

But, as I said, they served their masters well. The players? Not so well.

Hey, Ari: Spin this ...

Ari Fleischer probably thinks he’s got it easy.

After all, Fleischer served as top flack to an unpopular president engaged in two wars. Now all he’s asked to do is defend the Bowl Championship Series.

What?

Yes, Fleischer has been hired to say nice things about the BCS, a rigged system that rewards the big-money conferences at the expense of smaller ones and prevents a true national championship from being determined.

Good luck with that.

Ari, you thought the far-left and the mainstream media were tough on your last client? Wait till you try to appease college football fans whose undefeated team was denied a chance to play for No. 1 …

Friday column: I’ll take my cat’s IQ over either one

IBM announced this week that it has a computer system that can simulate the thinking power of a cat’s brain with 1 billion neurons and 10 trillion synapses. At just 4.5 percent of a human brain, the computer can sense, perceive, act, interact and process ideas without consuming a lot of energy. — Discovery News


Wait a sec …

Already this Thursday morning I’ve pilled my cat, fed my cat, changed her litter box and freshened her water. As she sleeps contentedly on the heating pad I set up for her, I’m sweating another Friday column — somebody has to buy the mixed grill — and she gets me to do all this with just 4.5 percent of the power of my brain?

Something doesn’t compute.

But I think IBM is on to something with the idea of brain simulations. It could, for instance, try simulating the fan brain. I’m thinking of fans like the one who sucker-punched Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen.

Clausen, his family and girlfriend were at a South Bend, Ind., pub about 2 a.m. Sunday, a few hours after the Irish lost to UConn in double overtime. As might be expected in a place where football is taken as seriously — scratch that … more seriously — than religion, words were exchanged, and the Clausen party decided to leave.

But when the girlfriend realized she’d left her purse behind, Clausen went back to retrieve it, and on the way out got “coldcocked” for his trouble. The fan who hit him apparently took the UConn loss very personally.

Then there’s the case of the fan incident involving the Anaheim Ducks. It began when defenseman Scott Niedermayer thought he’d do something nice after being named one of the game’s stars — toss his stick to a young girl who was rinkside.

The only problem was that the girl was surrounded by adult fans, and you know what that means — yes, a fight over the stick.

As a result, one Mike Vallely, 39, was arrested and cited for public fighting. Vallely, a professional skate boarder and a singer in a punk-rock band, was described in the Los Angeles Times as “a season-ticket holder who also built a niche reputation for his online fight videos.”

Well, he’s got a new one online, but the Ducks are so embarrassed by the latest that they’ve severed their semi-official relationship — Vallely had appeared at some club marketing events and wrote a Ducks blog. According to the Times, Vallely also could lose his season tickets.

I do hope he came away with that all-important stick.

Now, if IBM does try to simulate the fan brain, or rather the brain of these type of fans, I’ll be curious to see what percentage of thinking power they come in at — 90 percent, 60 percent, 30 percent?

No, no, not of the human brain. Of the cat’s.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

They actually believed him …

Jumping on Allen Iverson is too easy these days — so let’s pick on the Memphis Grizzlies.

What in the name of perpetual disaffection made the Griz think that a player with Iverson’s ego — declining skills or no — would be content coming off the bench?

Yes, yes, I know he said he'd be OK with it. But how could the Memphis brass believe him? He also said he was OK coming off the bench in Detroit, then began bitching about it one game in.

The good news, Memphis fans, is that Iverson — after just three games — is gone. The bad news? The brain surgeons who brought him to your fair city are … still … there.

An interview worth a look

Reader Gary Eschman pointed our attention to a Jere Longman interview with UNM’s Elizabeth Lambert, she of the infamous soccer video.

In the New York Times piece, Lambert claims the punch into a BYU player’s back was inadvertent — it doesn’t look inadvertent to me — and claims some of the things she’s shown doing were misinterpreted or taken out of context.

And she claims the incident got a lot more attention because of her gender, which is probably true.

But she also says she regrets what she did and will regret it for the rest of her life. Further, she’s seeing a clinical psychologist to better understand what caused her to grab a BYU player by her hair and yank her to the ground.

Finally, she says, “I’m working on my mental game to never let that happen again. That’s unacceptable in any sport to get to that point where you feel it’s necessary that you have to retaliate in a dirty manner.”


http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/18/sports/soccer/18soccer.html?_r=1&hp

Letting Westbrook play: That’s disrespect

When the Cincinnati Bengals player formerly known as Chad Johnson flashed a dollar bill at a referee during a replay challenge, he was fined $20,000 by the NFL — and properly so — for the display of disrespect.

When Tennessee owner Bud Adams gave Buffalo fans the middle-finger salute after the Titans’ victory over the Bills, he was fined $250,000 by the NFL — and properly so — for the display of disrespect.

Sunday, three weeks after Philadelphia’s Brian Westbrook suffered a concussion against Washington — he was out cold — he was allowed to play against San Diego.

With all we’ve learned recently about the link between football head trauma and cognitive damage, allowing a player to return that quickly, whether he’s asymptomatic or not — that is disrespectful, to the league, to the player’s life, to the player’s family.

Against the Chargers, unsurprisingly, Westbrook suffered another concussion. Eagles head coach Andy Reid insists his running back’s health is his No. 1 concern. If he respects his own word, he will not allow Westbrook back in pads this season.

* * *

Speaking of respect, what kind are the Bengals showing the league and their community with their signing of Larry Johnson?

Johnson last week was released by the Kansas City Chiefs after twice using anti-gay slurs and publicly ripping his own coach. But that’s just the tip of the Johnson iceberg.

In his time with KC, Johnson was accused four different times of assaulting women, was benched three games last year for violating team rules, and was sentenced to two years probation for disturbing the peace at a nightclub.

The Bengals, who have a history picking up bad actors, keep pledging to mend their ways. But this latest move says Cincinnati’s credo remains talent — even fading talent — over character.

* * *

Staying with a theme, as it appears we are, LeBron James wants to show respect to Michael Jordan. Which is fine.
But James wants to do it by convincing the league’s teams to retire Jordan’s number.

“I just think what Michael Jordan has done for the game has to be recognized some way soon. There would be no LeBron James, no Kobe Bryant, no Dwyane Wade if there wasn’t Michael Jordan first.”

Say what?

If there had never been a Michael Jordan, there most certainly still would have been James, Bryant and Wade.

To show the way, James says he’s going to give up his No. 23, Jordan’s old number, and switch to No. 6.

News flash for James: The greatest winner in NBA history is not Michael Jordan, but one William Felton Russell. Went by Bill. You must have heard of him — he won not six titles like Jordan, but 11.

Oh, and by the way, he wore No. 6.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Cheaters never prosper? Au contraire

Kelvin Sampson cheats at Oklahoma, putting the hurt on the Sooners, then cheats at Indiana, nearly destroying that program. His punishment? An $800,000 “go-away-but-don’t-sue-us” package and a job as an assistant with the Milwaukee Bucks.

At Southern California, Tim Floyd allegedly not only looks the other way as money and other goodies are funneled to star guard O.J. Mayo, he reportedly acts as his own bagman in laying a cool thousand in cash on a Mayo associate. As a result, the Trojans might get hammered by the NCAA — an investigation is ongoing — but Floyd already has landed on his feet with an assistant’s job with the New Orleans Hornets.

The NBA Cares — about dirty coaches. Talk about your old-boy network.

Good thinking vs. no thinking

Washington defensive back DeAngelo Hall didn’t start the ruckus — that was teammate LaRon Landry, who took a cheap shot at Atlanta quarterback Matt Ryan — but he happily joined in the fray, which nearly became an all-out brawl in Sunday’s 31-17 Falcons win.

Landry was fined $5,000 for his part, and Washington tackle Albert Haynesworth was fined $7,500 for coming to the aid of Hall, who was getting into it along the sideline with Falcons coach Mike Smith.

For his part, Smith was fined $15,000 and another Atlanta coach was tagged for $2,500.

Afterward, Hall — no stranger to controversy — wasn’t upset that his teammates got fined; he was upset more players didn’t get involved.

" ... I'm always ready to mix it up,” the former Falcon said. “And to see those guys kind of linger over there, yeah, I don't know what was going through their minds.”

Oh, I don’t know — maybe thoughts more intelligent than “I’m always ready to mix it up”?

Maybe Armed Robbery 101 should be mandatory for UT freshmen

So.

You’re Mike Edwards or Janzen Jackson or Nu’Keese Richardson (in photo). You’re part of a coveted freshman class recruited by first-year coach Tennessee Lane Kiffin.

Your team, the Vols, isn’t doing great, but has plenty of promise, as do your careers at UT — and possibly beyond.

So … you …

Put hoodies on and try to stick up a couple of people at a convenience store in the heart of the campus area?

Smooth move.

They got no money for their trouble — the victims had nada in their wallets — but were quickly arrested, along with their genius getaway driver, a woman found to be carrying marijuana and a marijuana grinder.

Maybe that helps explain the um … planning … that went into the armed robbery attempt.

As for Lane Kiffin, who loudly bragged about snatching Richardson away from Florida coach Urban Meyer, how’s that recruiting class looking now?

Friday column: Cover-up or bungling? Either way, it ain't good

Sports build character.

Or so we’re told from the time we can toddle onto a playing field or a soccer pitch.

How has the character building been going at The University of New Mexico lately?

Not so good on the women’s soccer team, which was embarrassed by a video showing Elizabeth Lambert engaging in various bits of thuggery in a game against BYU.

Suspended, Lambert issued an apology, claiming her actions were in “no way indicative of my character or the soccer player that I am.”

Maybe.

But as anyone can see by googling “Elizabeth Lambert” and clicking on the video link, this wasn’t a single incident, or even two. It was multiple incidents that included a punch in the back of one BYU player and the pulling — by the hair — of another to the ground.

“Liz is a quality student-athlete, but in this instance her actions clearly crossed the line of fair play and good sportsmanship,” said UNM head coach Kit Vela.

You think, coach? Lambert didn’t just cross the line; she nuked it. And if you thought she had — oh my goodness, crossed the line — why didn’t you pull her from the match?

“Liz’s conduct on the field against BYU was completely inappropriate,” said UNM Vice President for Athletics Paul Krebs. “There is no way to defend her actions.”

Good to know, Paul, because if anyone can defend “inappropriate” actions, it’s you.

Krebs, of course, is the one who soft-pedaled football coach Mike Locksley’s altercation with assistant coach J.B. Gerald — only admitting something had happened after a police report became public, then vocally supported Locksley while “reprimanding” him.

The altercation, according to Gerald, involved Locksley choking and punching Gerald during a coaching meeting. Despite evidence to the contrary, Krebs backed Locksley’s contention that no punches were thrown but did allow that the coach’s actions were “inappropriate” — clearly his favorite word.

Under pressure from news media and faculty, Krebs finally suspended Locksley, and an investigation separate from the athletic department was begun. But this, too, has been tainted by controversy, including the destruction of notes.

How bad has it been? Bad enough that school President David Schmidly asks us to please believe it was mere “bungling,” and not an attempted cover-up.

So what are we to believe? Are Krebs and company conspirators or incompetents? Actually, they look like nothing so much as small-minded bureaucrats in perpetual damage control.

Back to character and sports. We’ll give the last word on the subject to legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden, who knew something about both.

Sports, he said, doesn’t build character; it reveals it.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

What kind of **** is this?

So.

Joe Girardi, on his way home after guiding the Yankees to their 27th World Series win, stops and aids an accident victim who lost control of her car and crashed into a wall at 2:25 a.m.

Good for him. Really — good for him.

But can we stop the canonization process?

"The guy wins the World Series, what does he do? He stops to help," gushed Westchester County police officer Kathleen Cristiano, who was among the first to arrive at the accident scene. "It was totally surreal."

Cristiano was at a nearby DWI checkpoint when she got the accident call.

"He was jumping up and down, trying to flag me down," she said. "You don't expect him standing by a car accident trying to help."

Ummm … why not?

"The driver didn't know it was him until after I told her," Cristiano said.

Wow.

Stand-up shortstop

But while we’re on the good-guy theme, kudos also to the Phillies’ Jimmy Rollins. He didn’t do anything as heroic as helping an accident victim, but he did do something more surprising — try to take the heat off a teammate for a bonehead play.

That teammate was Brad Lidge, who failed to cover third base in the ninth inning of Game 4 of the World Series, enabling the Yankees’ Johnny Damon to take third without a play. The gaffe seemed to rattle Lidge, who quickly gave up three runs and let New York take control of the series.

It was an unusual play.

With Damon on first and two out, the Phillies put on a radical shift for pull hitter Mark Teixeira, so radical that when Damon took off on a steal attempt, third baseman Pedro Feliz covered second. When the catcher’s throw took Feliz to the first-base side of the bag, Damon alertly bounced up and raced to third.

Where Lidge should have been.

Enter Rollins.

“I take responsibility for it,” the premier shortstop said after the game. “I make sure that the pitcher knows that with Teixeira, we play the shift over, that he knows that on the steal he has to cover third.

“That time, I didn’t really mention anything to Brad, so when you make the pitch, in his mind it was a regular steal. But with the way the defense was set up, that’s my job to make sure that he knows to go to third. I’m the captain of the infield. It’s my job.”

Perhaps Rollins really felt that way. Or perhaps he was just trying to provide Lidge with some cover. Either way, Jimmy Rollins is a class act.

Sterling behavior

Clippers owner Donald T. Sterling must be envious that the “other” Los Angeles NBA team — let’s see, they’re the … ummm … Lakers, right? — are always winning championships and setting records.

Well, now Sterling has a record of his own.

He’s agreed to pay a record $2.725 million to settle a housing discrimination lawsuit that claimed “he discriminated against African Americans, Hispanics and families with children at scores of apartment buildings he owns in and around Los Angeles."

This according to an L.A. Times story.

It continued, “The settlement, which must be approved by U.S. District Judge Dale S. Fischer, is the largest ever obtained by the Justice Department in a housing discrimination case involving apartment rentals, officials said.”

The largest EVER. Way to go, Donald T., you’re a champion at … ah … something — at last.

Friday column: Honest doesn’t always mean right

There’s a Buddhist teaching on “right speech” that asks three questions of a statement before it is made:

Is it true?

Is it kind?

Is it necessary?

The questions came to mind as I mulled Andre Agassi’s admissions — admissions used to promote his upcoming book — that he used crystal meth in 1997, lied about it, and got away with it.

The revelations from Open, expected to be released Tuesday, have roiled the usually placid tennis world.

Martina Navratilova compared Agassi to suspected baseball drug cheat Roger Clemens. Roger Federer hammered him, as did Boris Becker.

On the other side, former players including Justin Gimelstob, Jim Courier and Mary Carillo stood by Agassi, with Gimelstob saying, “This will not diminish the way I regard Andre, which is as a person with the highest possible character.”

Which seems to be the rub. Who doesn’t like Agassi, and who doesn’t appreciate his character? His rise-fall-rise story, his sense of vulnerability, the work he’s done with disadvantaged kids through his Las Vegas, Nev., academy all incline me to want to give him a break.

And yet.

As I consider the revelations, I keep wondering, what’s the point? And I’m not alone.

“Why is he saying this now that he has retired?,” asked Rafael Nadal. “It’s a way of damaging the sport that makes no sense.”

It must make sense to Agassi; here are two possibilities:

1) To be crass, it gets attention and sells books.

2) Public confession might be important for Agassi’s psyche. If so, he’s getting a lot of bang for his buck, unloading also about his relationship with his father and the fact that, prematurely bald, we wore hairpieces on the court.

But the key admissions remain the drug use and the lying. The first he describes in somewhat glamorous terms — in spite of the fact that crystal meth is a scourge, a highly addictive drug that causes severe physical and psychological damage. As for the second admission, I can’t see it helping his academy students. What’s the lesson here? Lie well enough and you can beat the rap?

Still, there are those who do not care.

“Andre is and always will be my idol,” Andy Roddick wrote. “I will judge him on how he has treated me and how he has changed the world for (the) better.”

But how do these admissions change the world for the better, Andy?

Let’s go back to the three questions:

Is it true? Apparently.

Is it kind? Not to the game that made him rich. Not, I think, to the kids who look up to him.

Is it necessary? Only if a desire to sell books, a desire for attention, or a compulsion for public confession qualify. In other words, no.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

When Are They Going to Learn Dept.

Two more examples this week of TUI — tweeting under the influence. How else to explain:

1) UCLA freshman receiver Randall Carroll not only complaining about Bruins offensive coordinator Norm Chow but referring to him with a racial slur?

2) Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson not only belittling head coach Todd Haley but using a gay slur?

It’s unclear whether Carroll will be disciplined, though he already has been suspended once this year for a violation of team rules. But Johnson has been suspended for his tweet, and the suspension will cost him about $600,000.

Yes — $600,000.

In the past few months, TUI or TWT — tweeting without thinking — has gotten a number of athletes in trouble. Perhaps Johnson and Carroll just weren’t paying attention.

Johnson, who followed his ill-advised tweet by using the slur again while talking to reporters, has a history of doing dumb things. Carroll has a way to go to match him, but he’s off to a promising start.

Mother of the Year candidate

A cheerleader in Columbus, Ohio, got into a disagreement at school, went home and complained to Mom. So, Mom did what any red-blooded, female progenitor would do — grab a baseball bat and go looking for the coach.

When she found the coach, she began yelling at her and swinging the bat near her. Other parents at the practice broke up things up before she could connect, and the mom, the disgruntled cheerleader and the bat all went home.

Oh, I don’t know if we mentioned it, but this was an elementary school.

Coach of the Year candidate

In Lakeland, Fla., Christopher Michael Campbell, a volunteer assistant football coach at Kathleen High School, didn’t like the way the guys were playing.

So he decided to do something about it. What? You mean bring a bat to practice? No, no, my friend, not a lousy bat — a knife. And he not only brought the knife, he allegedly brandished it several times, while cursing for extra emphasis. He reportedly poked one player, tapping him on his chest while verbally threatening him.

Somehow, this didn’t go over well, and now Mr. Campbell finds himself in a certain amount of legal jeopardy as — oddly enough — having a weapon on campus is not only a violation of school board policy but a felony.

Mr. Campbell might have heard about a certain incident a few years back — ah … Columbine, I think it was called. Or he might recall any number of other incidents the past few years, which have led schools — and cops — to frown on bringing weapons to show-and-tell.

A school administrator said that Mr. Campbell was very well-liked.

Not anymore, I’m guessing …

Friday column: Gladwell might be barking up right tree

In a recent New Yorker, Malcolm Gladwell drew a comparison between dogfighting and football, especially pro football.

He drew an analogy between the damage done to dogs in the pit and the damage done to players on the field, between the disposability of dogs and the disposability of players.

I first thought Gladwell had gone around the bend. But after looking at Roger Goodell’s appearance before the Senate Judiciary Committee, I’m not so sure.

In his article, Gladwell brought up Michael Vick, who spent 19 months in prison for running a dogfighting ring. One of the things that intensified the reaction to Vick’s actions was his lying about them, his refusal — until forced — to accept responsibility for the terrible physical damage he had caused.

The long failure to accept responsibility was one of the reasons Goodell made Vick jump through so many hoops to get reinstated to the game — including a
4 1/2-hour interview with Goodell so the commissioner could determine if Vick’s remorse was sincere.

Which brings us to Wednesday’s hearing on the NFL and head injuries, where Goodell refused to answer a straightforward question from committee Chairman John Conyers.

In the wake of studies connecting football head trauma with dementia and other cognitive problems — including a study sponsored by the NFL — Goodell was asked if he believed there was a a injury-disease connection.

His response was to tout the league’s desire to make the game safer. A longtime politician, Conyers knows stonewalling when he hears it. “I just asked you a simple question,” he said. “What is the answer?”

Goodell responded that a medical expert could give a better answer than he could. Well, as a matter of fact, they did, and cited for the committee “growing and convincing evidence” of a link between the football and chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a condition that has resulted in depression, rage and suicide.

I understand why Goodell wouldn’t admit what seems to be increasingly obvious. If he admits the truth, he admits liability, and he knows there will be consequences. Much like Vick knew that if he admitted to sponsoring dogfights, there would be consequences.

More and more, the NFL is looking like Big Tobacco when it denied that smoking causes cancer. And a little bit like a certain former Atlanta Falcon who denied having anything to do with brutalized “animal athletes.”

Eventually Vick was compelled to admit the truth about his activities, and the damage his “sport” caused. One day, the NFL and Goodell will be compelled to admit the damage their sport caused and continues to cause.

When that happens, I wonder if former players and their families will want to interview Goodell for 4 1/2 hours to see if he truly is remorseful.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

When in doubt, blame the tutor

Some 700 pages of documents a court ordered released by Florida State on the academic fraud — freaud that might cost football coach Bobby Bowden 14 of his precious victories — reveals that university President T. K. Wetherell essentially blamed it all on a “rogue tutor” and largely gave the athletes a pass.

“The student-athletes didn’t start off with the idea of this is how I am going to cheat,” Wetherell told the N.C.A.A.’s Committee on Infractions last October. “We don’t really believe they cheated. They got inappropriate help.”

The athletes received answers to test questions and allowed tutors to type and write their papers.

If they didn’t understand that was cheating, they weren’t exactly college material in the first place. Speaking of which, one of the tutors testified that some of the athletes she worked with read at a second-grade level.

You read that right.

Prodigal son? Not exactly

Stephen Jackson, who’s been whining about being stuck on Golden State even since signing a lucrative contract extension with Golden State, recently returned to the team after a two-game suspension, prompting coach Don Nelson to say, “The prodigal son has returned.”

It seems to me the parable of the prodigal son involve a word we haven’t heard from “Big Shot Jack,” as Jackson styles himself. What is it? What is it? Oh yeah — repentance.

(And no, don't hold your breath.)

Friday column: Steel cages, syringes and 'bad boys'

News item: The same day New Mexico suspends head football coach Mike Locksley for hitting an assistant, the NFL says it will consider taking action against Oakland head coach Mike Cable for allegedly breaking an assistant’s jaw.
Comment: Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yes — steel-cage match: “Two coaches go in — but only one comes out!” For charity, of course.

News item: The discovery of “several suspicious syringes” linked to the Astana cycling team — the one featuring Tour de France winner Alberto Contador and third-place finisher Lance Armstrong — spurs French prosecutors to open an investigation into possible drug cheating.
Comment: The relentless effort of the French to nail Lance Armstrong makes Inspector Javert look like Inspector Clouseau.

News item: The Rev. Al Sharpton urges the NFL to reject any ownership bid involving Rush Limbaugh, saying the radio host is racially divisive.
Comment 1: Duh.
Comment 2: Al Sharpton’s worried about somebody being racially divisive? Al Sharpton?

News item: A recent poll indicates that American families with a household income of $75,000 or less now have zero dollars of discretionary income.
Comment: What’s discretionary income?

News item: Louisville basketball players Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings — both projected starters — are charged with resisting arrest at an alumni party, and head coach Rick Pitino says the matter “will be handled internally.”
Comment: How does Pitino mete out any discipline — internal or external — after his well-publicized fall from grace?

News item: Matt Jones, dumped by Jacksonville after two arrests and a league suspension — all drug-related — reportedly has at least five teams interested in signing him.
Comment: Those teams seem to forget that for all his speed — he once ran a 4.37 40-yard-dash — Jones is yet to outrun either his drug problems or the cops.

News item: Barack Obama receives the Nobel Peace Prize for not being George W. Bush.
Comment: Can I get a Pulitzer for not being Stephen Glass?

News item: Oakland defensive tackle Gerard Warren, reveling in the Raiders’ outlaw image despite their 1-4 record, says, “We’re still the most hated — the bad boys coming into town.”
Comment: If they had to, opposing teams would send limos to pick up the “bad boys” at the airport — even pick up their air fare.

News item: Four days after the arrest of Smith and Jennings, Pitino announces that neither will miss a single game.
Comment: See what I mean?

And they look so wholesome, too ...

What’s the deal with the Giles boys?

Wednesday, former San Diego Padre Marcus Giles was arrested for allegedly battering his wife. What's so unusual about that? By itself, nothing — unfortunately. Athletes getting nailed for domestic abuse is all too common.

But what makes this a bit different is the fact that Marcus' brother, Brian, another ex-Padre, has been sued for $10 million by a former girlfriend who alleges he hit and kicked her while she was pregnant with his child, causing a miscarriage. He’s counter-sued.

In case you wondering, yes, Brian is the older brother — the role model, if you will ...

Yeah, this is bad judgment ...

What in Phog Allen is going on at Kansas?

First, a rumble between Jayhawk basketball and football players; now a DUI arrest for junior guard Brady Morningstar, who also broke the curfew that hoop coach Bill Self put on his team after the fight.

Kansas, which historically has had a fairly clean image, got a great deal of bad publicity from the on-campus scrum. Now the DUI arrest.

Morningstar “used extremely poor judgment,” Self said.

You think?

... But this is worse

Say what you will about Morningstar, at least didn’t get tanked the night before a game — a critical game, in fact — like Detroit Tiger Miguel Cabrera did.

Cabrera came home early Saturday morning boozed up and in a combative mood — witness the scratches police found on his wife after she called 911. Cabrera, too, had scratches.

In this incident, Cabrera comes out a bum three ways: striking his wife, getting stinking drunk (blood-alcohol level of .26), and getting stinking drunk the day of a key game.

Nice.

Police didn’t charge Cabrera, but they did take him to the cop shop, where Tigers general manager Dave Dombrowski picked him up about 7:30 a.m. I bet they had an interesting discussion.

Blount: a pressure offense

News that the University of Oregon is reassessing its season-long suspension of LeGarrette Blount — the running back who popped a Boise State player following the Ducks’ opening game — doesn’t bother me.

Even to me, that suspension seemed severe.

But I wish the Oregon brass had come to the decision to reassess without being pressured by Blount’s parents and an attorney.

While Oregon athletic director Mike Bellotti said the call “was a plea by parents for understanding and leniency,” he acknowledged he was aware of the lawyer’s presence on the line, aware enough, in fact, to include a school attorney on the call.

If the school decides ultimately to give Blount a break, I’m sure it will say the (implied) threat of a lawsuit had nothing to do with it.

But that won’t be the truth.

The truth is that bureaucracies respond to pressure, and if you can bring enough to bear — by threatening to cost the bureaucracy either money or bad PR — minds can be changed.

Friday column: More than dumb, this defense is dumb-dumb

So.

Whoopie Goldberg doesn’t believe a 43-year-old man sodomizing a girl of 13 after giving her alcohol and drugs is rape.

Well, it’s rape, she said in explaining why Roman Polanski should not be extradited to the U.S., but not rape-rape, thereby somehow offering Polanski license for a crime he admitted to but for which he never paid.

The only way I can account for this interesting … um, thinking … is the fact that Polanski is a film director — you know, an artiste, and therefore not liable to the standards the rest of us proles are held to. That seemed to be the thrust of Debra Winger’s impassioned defense of Polanski — he’s an artist.

But then, he’s not that great of an artist, right? I mean, granted, he gave us Chinatown and The Pianist. But he also brought us The Fearless Vampire Killers and Pirates. Personally, I’m not sure I’d give the director of Bitter Moon a pass on jaywalking.

But that got my wife — the RISD and CalArts grad — and me to wonder: Using the reasoning of the Polanski defenders, what level of artist do you have to be to get a pass on a terrible crime against another human being?

Staying for comparison’s sake in a single category, painters, here’s what we came up with:

A Renior-level artist could commit crime.

A Jackson Pollock-level artist could commit crime-crime.

A Picasso-level artist could pretty much do anything he damn well pleased.

(A Dalí-level artist, on the other hand, could and should be arrested for spitting on the sidewalk.)

This Whoopie-and-Winger-inspired rating system could apply to athletes, as well. After all, they’re artists of a sort, aren’t they?

Kobe Bryant, I recall, was accused of rape — I don’t know if Ms. Goldberg considered it rape-rape or not — but he most certainly did something to that young Colorado hotel worker. Yet he walked without it costing him a little more than lawyers’ fees, settlement money and, of course, that nice, big rock for Mrs. Bryant.

With four NBA championships on his résumé, Bryant clearly is at or near the top of the basketball world, so whatever he did to the woman clearly should be covered by artistic license.

What about Ben Roethlisberger, the latest big-name athlete accused of rape?

On the one hand, the Steelers quarterback has won two Super Bowls. But on the other, he can’t be said to have reached Bryant’s level of accomplishment. So the precise level of violent sexual predation he should be allowed under the Whoopie-Winger system is unclear.

Now, if because of Roethlisberger’s unclear status, this method of determining who should get away with what seems inexact, it’s only as it should be. After all, the system isn’t science; it’s more, well, art.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Game-changer? Not while NFL plays prevent defense

So.

An NFL-commissioned study has discovered what other studies already have — Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia have been found in the league’s former players vastly more often than in the national population.

“This is a game-changer — the whole debate, the ball’s now in the NFL’s court,” Dr. Julian Bailes, chairman of the department of neurosurgery at the West Virginia University School of Medicine, told The New York Times. “They always say, ‘We’re going to do our own studies.’ And now they have.”

Yes, the ball’s in the NFL’s court. That doesn’t mean the league is going to do anything with it soon.

The NFL’s Greg Aiello told The Times that the study did not formally diagnose dementia, that it was subject to shortcomings of telephone surveys and that “there are thousands of retired players who do not have memory problems.”

“Memory disorders affect many people who never played football or other sports,” Aiello said. “We are trying to understand it as it relates to our retired players.”

In other words, the league will continue to obfuscate in order to delay doing anything substantive — such as ponying up funds for dementia victims’ care — for as long as it possibly can.

He’s got a lot of something

So.

Stephen Jackson is unhappy and wants to be traded.

The Golden State Warriors sharpshooter says the team has been going backward ever since its 2007 playoff run. In that, he is right. So why, one might ask, did Jackson sign a contract extension through 2013 a year and a half after that playoff appearance, when the Warriors’ direction already was evident?

"Who's going to turn down that money?” Jackson said. “I'm not stupid. I didn't go to college, but I have a lot of common sense."

This is the same Stephen Jackson who in the past five years, according to a generally favorable Wikipedia bio, “has been charged with felony criminal recklessness and a number of misdemeanors, including assault, disorderly conduct, and two counts of battery.”

Yes, much common sense.

Friday column: Locksley precedent is a hit

If you’re a scalp hunter for The University of New Mexico, your job just got easier.

UNM might not be Harvard, and Albuquerque might not be — oh, I don’t know, Cambridge or Palo Alto — but at our state’s largest university, there is one personnel perk you don’t get at any other school.

One free shot.

Yes, thanks to the precedent set by the administration in the case of head football coach Mike Locksley, all university personnel can take a productive swing at the co-worker of their choice and get no more than a verbal reprimand and a letter placed in their personnel file.

Talk about a great recruitment tool.

“Well, no, I’m afraid our salaries are rather limited at the moment, and the school contribution to the 401(k) plan has been halted … but if you run into an annoying fellow professor, you can cold-cock him!”

“When do I start?”

To be fair, Locksley didn’t knock out assistant coach J.B. Gerald, but grabbing him by the collar, hitting him and splitting his lip — an attack bad enough to necessitate a police report — is close enough to allow a little hyperbole for recruitment purposes.

After all, coaches have been known to mislead athletes to get them to sign on the dotted line. Locksley, for instance, is accused of wanting to fill the football office with young lovelies bodacious enough to make potential recruits sign letters of intent before they remember where they are.

Alas for football administrative assistant Sylvia Lopez, 54, it was decided she didn’t fit the bill, and out the door she went. Lopez in May filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, charging sexual harassment, age discrimination and retaliation.

At the time, UNM athletic director Paul Krebs said of Locksley, “He is an outstanding football coach. I believe he is an outstanding individual. I’m really looking forward to what he’s able to build here long-term with our football program.”

What he’s built so far is a program that’s an embarrassment both on the field and in the office. But he remains the coach.

The only possible problem for Locksley — and the one-punch rule — is an investigation launched by the school’s Human Resources Division. But UNM President David Schmidly and Krebs are two of the three people who will make a final decision on the matter. Schmidly has made it clear he’s got Kreb’s back, and Krebs has made it clear he has Locksley’s.

“I do not believe (the punch) is a reflection of his dealings,” Krebs said Monday. “It’s not a reflection of his character. This does not shake my faith in his leadership whatsoever.”

Let’s roll the tape on that last part again: “This does not shake my faith in his leadership whatsoever.”

Who wouldn’t want to work for an administration like that?

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Getting it exactly backward

Last Sunday I heard a priest discuss a section of the Gospel of Mark. In the passage, as Jesus is headed to Jerusalem to die, his disciples — behind his back — are arguing over which of them is “the greatest.”

The scene would be laughable if it weren’t so tragic.

In Christian belief, the second person of the Trinity is on his way to give up his body as an atoning sacrifice for mankind, and the dunderheads behind him are getting chesty with one another over who has the best spiritual CV. He’s thinking service; they’re thinking personal glory.

About the time the congregation was ready to mutter a collective “How pathetic,” the Rev. Curt Norman asked, “Of course, we never find ourselves in such arguments, do we?”

And, of course, we do.

We do it in all sorts of endeavors, including, as Norman went on to note, spending hours watching games on TV each weekend “to find out which one is the greatest.”

I’m not someone who thinks engaging in competition is a bad thing, but I do believe that context and perspective are absolutely crucial. Fans often lose perspective. So do high schools and universities. Society as a whole, one could argue, has lost perspective over athletics.

That includes, of course, the players.

In Lawrence, Kan., in the past week there have been three altercations between athletes. No, this wasn’t Jayhawks vs. Wildcats or Cornhuskers or Sooners. This was Jayhawks vs. Jayhawks — basketball players vs. football players — in ugly incidents that involved race baiting and violence. And what were they about?

About women. About status. About ego. About who rules the roost in Lawrence, Kan.
Apparently, this animosity between teams has existed for years at KU. Said one former Jayhawk football player, “It’s a big ego thing. It’s like who pretty much runs the school, who’s better.”

One non-athlete asked why players fought with each other when they all were beneficiaries of full-ride scholarships, while other students pay thousands of dollars for an education.

“I feel like they need to chill out,” the student said. “They’ve got the good life.”
You would think so. But the disease of ego, the disease that blinded the disciples to what life was truly about two millennia ago, continues to blind us today.

It may be misguided that athletes are idolized in our society, but idolized they are. As such, they’re in a position to effect positive change, to serve the greater good by serving others.

I know that there are KU athletes who, through work in the community, do exactly that. While others, wearing the same color uniforms, figuratively traveling the same road, are fighting — literally — over who should be serving them.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Hurrah! — the cheat is back — hurrah!

Justine Henin is making a comeback.

How exciting (yawn).

The Belgian is, indeed, a former No. 1 player, but I have no use for her — and haven’t since she cheated Serena Williams in the the 2003 French Open.

Remember?

In the middle of the third set of their semifinal, Williams started to serve, only to have Henin raise her hand to indicate she wasn’t ready. Her serve interrupted, Williams put the ball into the net.

But the referee didn’t see Henin raise her hand, and Henin wouldn’t cop to having done so. Point, Henin. Then game, Henin. Soon match, Henin.

Utterly classless.

I hope Williams beats her like a drum.

Perhaps they have a point

Critics have attacked the recruiting practices of Binghamton University basketball coach Kevin Broadus, saying that since his 2007 hiring he has lowered school standards.

While Broadus has given the Wildcats a winning team, his point guard, Emanuel ‘Tiki’ Mayben, now has given Broadus’ detractors the evidence they need to make the coach’s life miserable.

New York cops have charged Mayben, who last season set a single-season assists record for Binghamtom, with possessing and selling cocaine.

"I did all I could," Broadus said, according to The New York Times. "I tried to help the kid."

Some kids, coach Broadus, don’t want to be “helped."

Friday column: Before you hit the 'Send' button ...

A while back I decided to never send a meaningful e-mail without letting some time pass between the writing and the sending — preferably a full day.

You ask why?

Really?

Like you’ve never clicked on Send and thought, “I really wish I had that back … ”

Maybe I shouldn’t have worded the e-mail that way. Maybe I shouldn’t have blown off spell-check. Maybe that phrase — as colorful as it is — shouldn’t have been applied to (my boss, my banker, my mother-in-law, my fill-in-the-blank).

The problem with instant communication is, well, it’s so … instant. And if it’s a problem for a cautious 58-year-old journalist, imagine the problem it can be for a brash 20-something athlete with a Twitter account.

Such as Washington linebacker Robert Henson, who after his team was booed in Sunday’s 9-7 win over the Rams, wrote the following:

“All you fake half hearted Skins fan can … I won’t go there but I dislike you very strongly, don’t come to Fed Ex to boo dim wits!!”

As if calling his team’s fans dim wits wasn’t enough, he added, “The question is who are you to say you know what’s best for the team and you work 9 to 5 at Mcdonalds.”

One might riposte that at least those who work at McDonalds work at McDonalds. Henson, on the other hand, hasn’t been on the field for a single play in the first two games of the season.

Later — I imagine shortly after a brief discussion with the people who sign his paychecks — Henson apologized for his remarks. Even better, he deleted his Twitter account. But his cached remarks will live forever.

As will those of Kansas basketball player Tyshawn Taylor, who decided not only was it a good idea to get into a fight with some Jayhawk football players Tuesday, but it was a good idea to talk about it on Facebook.

“I got a dislocated finger … from throwing a punch … so don’t let the news paper gas yall up aite,” Taylor wrote.
Later, Taylor posted, “(racial slur)s be muggin me … you know I’m mugging back.”

All of which might make it difficult for Taylor to deny involvement in the melee if it comes time for police to file charges.

This year, Google offered its Gmail users a way to “undo” a sent e-mail within five seconds of it being lobbed into cyberspace. To my knowledge, there’s no comparable way to undo a Tweet or Facebook message.

Even if there were, you can take it from the examples of Messrs. Henson and Taylor — for that matter, you can take it from me — that five seconds is not nearly long enough.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Actually, Floyd, I look at you as a putz

Floyd Mayweather Jr. doesn’t like that journalists have reported on a few of the alleged “whoopsies” in his life. Such as:

* His being sued for $167,000 unpaid on a loan for a half-million dollar luxury car.

* His owing the IRS $6.17 million in unpaid taxes.

* The seizing of handguns, ammunition and bulletproof vests from his home — along with two cars — in the investigation of a Las Vegas, Nev., shooting.

Mayweather has a theory on his press coverage:

In America, he said, “If you're rich, you're a rich [n-word]," he said. "If you're poor, you're a poor [n-word]. If you're smart, you're a smart [n-word]. At the end of the day, they still look at me as a [n-word]."

Mayweather went on:

"The fans in the UK showed me more love than in my own country. That's crazy ... Sometimes I'll sit back, I'll be in my theater sometimes, and I'll think: 'Imagine if I was the same fighter that I am, and I was the same person that I am, and I was from another country. Can you just imagine how big I'd be?'"

Yeah, I have funny thoughts when I’m sitting in my theater, too.

Floyd, there are 194 other nations in the world, and 131 of them have never had a world boxing champion in any division — Burkina Faso, Myanmar and Slovenia, just to name three. You could be big, soooo big.

The airport is that-a-way.