If it’s not an alcohol problem, it will do till one comes along

Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera, spring training 2010, to reporters: “You guys write in the paper ‘alcoholic.’ That's not right. I don't know how to explain, but it's not an alcohol problem.”

Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera, spring training 2011, to police: “Do you know who I am?” before being arrested and charged with driving under the influence of alcohol and resisting an officer without violence.

According to St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office, Cabrera refused to take a breathalyzer test during the early Wednesday incident. On the other hand, he reportedly took a swig from a bottle of scotch as a deputy watched.

You have to admit, though, for someone in the process of completely messing up his career, Cabrera sure takes a happy mug shot.

... But this is worse

Say what you will about Morningstar, at least didn’t get tanked the night before a game — a critical game, in fact — like Detroit Tiger Miguel Cabrera did.

Cabrera came home early Saturday morning boozed up and in a combative mood — witness the scratches police found on his wife after she called 911. Cabrera, too, had scratches.

In this incident, Cabrera comes out a bum three ways: striking his wife, getting stinking drunk (blood-alcohol level of .26), and getting stinking drunk the day of a key game.

Nice.

Police didn’t charge Cabrera, but they did take him to the cop shop, where Tigers general manager Dave Dombrowski picked him up about 7:30 a.m. I bet they had an interesting discussion.

This week's Howard Cosell Award goes to ...

Give Torii Hunter credit for telling it like it is.

Major League home runs this season were at their lowest level since 1993. Why?

"I think the steroid testing has something to do with it," Hunter said. "If there were any guys who were taking it, they're not taking it anymore."

Not everyone is as upfront as the Angels centerfielder.

Miguel Cabrera, who led the American League in dingers with 37 (37!) said, "I think it's the bigger stadiums.”

Right.

Hunter teammate Mark Teixeira is blaming something else.

"I can feel the ball being a little softer,” he said. “I can feel the seams being a little raised and the leather not being as tight."

Right.

In the midst of the home-run binge, players who didn’t want to talk about steroids talked about how the ball was tighter and traveled farther. Now, a player who doesn’t want to talk about the absence of steroids talks about the ball being softer.

As I said, give Hunter credit.