Friday column: Even the gullible will think twice about these

Thank God for the credulous.

You know, the folks who believe our president wasn’t born in America, the moon landing was faked, and certain powerful lizard humans secretly run the world (oh, they’re out there, people).

If it weren’t for the credulous, who could O.J. Mayo possibly be talking to?

Mayo, guard for the Memphis Grizzlies, recently was suspended by the NBA for 10 games after testing positive for the steroid DHEA. He immediately went to what is usually Plan A in such situations — blaming the test result on something he inadvertently ingested.

In this case, Mayo put the onus on an unnamed energy drink, thereby showing a distinct lack of imagination. (Cyclist Alberto Contador blamed tainted meat; sprinter Ben Johnson, spiked ginseng; distance runner Dieter Baumann, nandalone toothpaste.)

As for his trustworthiness, this is the same Mayo who denied receiving cash and other goodies at Southern Cal even though the school — in the wake of its investigation — vacated all of its wins for the season Mayo was a Trojan and surrendered $206,200 in NCAA Tournament money.

I wouldn’t say Mayo and truth are strangers; let’s just say they’re not exactly roommates.

Sometimes, sports figures don’t talk to the credulous — they are the credulous.

Take Mets principal owner Fred Wilpon and team president Jeff Katz, who for years believed that Bernie Madoff produced 18 percent returns on their investments because, in their words, “he was smarter than everyone else.”

They believed that until the day the Ponzi scheme purveyor was hauled off to jail.

That belief — which, to be fair, no small number of investors shared — has resulted in financial instability for the New York franchise, leading to the Mets having to seek minority partners to ease their budget woes.

This might prove a difficult sell, even to their fellow credulous: “The ship is sinking — hop aboard!”

For another tough sell, I give you the words of Harvey Bruner, lawyer of record for one Chris Carter, a top Ohio State football recruit and a recent guest of the Cleveland City Jail.

Carter, 18, was arrested Tuesday and charged on suspicion of fondling as many eight high school girls while pretending to measure them for JROTC uniforms. One of the alleged victims is 15.

According to news reports, Carter not only admitted his guilt to police, he gave them the book he used to record the measurements.

Yet after his first visit with Carter, Bruner declared him to be a “fine, young man” who is innocent of any wrongdoing.

To the credulous, I would point out that in Bruner’s trade — criminal-defense attorney — an “innocent person” and “paying client” are synonymous.

Considering Carter’s admission and the “measurement book,” it will be interesting to see what defense Bruner employs for the “fine, young man.” I suspect it will have something to do with a conspiracy of the lizard humans.

(Oh, they’re out there, people).

Bush, second take

So.

Reggie Bush regrets the effect on USC of the NCAA penalties imposed on the school in large part because the extra benefits he reportedly received.

Bush said that to him it’s the “closest thing to death without dying.”

Spare me the tears.

Bush was just another young athlete who just couldn’t wait for the gravy train. If what the NCAA alleges is true — and I believe their investigators — Bush and his family were greedy.

Period.

As for Pete Carroll and USC, here’s my strong guess: They couldn’t have and should have known something was up with Bush. Like many coaches and programs, they didn’t want to know.

Friday column: Maturity issues and other problems

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the graciousness of Armando Galarraga. Last week, I wrote about the remarkable life of John Wooden. Will we have three uplifting columns in a row?

No, thank goodness. OK, let’s not thank goodness; let’s thank Vince Young, the University of Southern California and Albert Haynesworth.

Young, the former University of Texas star, now the quarterback and wannabe leader of the NFL’s Tennessee Titans, got involved Sunday in a way-past-bedtime scuffle at a … wait for it … strip club.

Video surveillance showed Young getting violent after a man made derogatory remarks about UT and flashed an upside-down “Hook ’em, Horns” sign.

Let me repeat that. Young, who has been attempting to show the Titans he’s no longer the pouting, immature jock who couldn’t stand to be booed and whose erratic behavior had his mother worried about his emotional stability, attacked a man because of an upside-down rah-rah sign.

What’s that sound, you ask? Yes, I heard it, too. I’m pretty sure that was Titans head coach Jeff Fisher, still sighing.

Of course, the team Young’s Longhorns beat in the 2006 BCS title game — Southern Cal — has its own problems, thanks in part to that game’s other marquee talent — Reggie Bush.

According to the NCAA, Bush and his family received extra benefits — hundreds of thousands of dollars have been alleged. As a result, the football program has been slammed with major sanctions, including forfeiture of victories, loss of scholarships and four years probation.

The severity of the punishments is linked to the finding of a lack of institutional control at the school, which also was hit for special benefits provided another “I want it now” jock, former basketball star O.J. Mayo.

Mayo’s coach, Tim Floyd, who was accused of being his own bagman in securing Mayo’s services for the Trojans, is long gone from the scene. Also gone is football coach Pete Carroll, who in the offseason suddenly developed an itch to jump to the NFL.

Of course, Carroll insists, the prospect of major NCAA penalties had nothing to do with his decision.

And I believe Carroll; sure, I do. But, then, I believe BP will get a handle on this oil thing any minute now.

Speaking of spurting crude, it’s hard to imagine an athlete leaking more credibility at the moment than Haynesworth.

The Washington defensive tackle was a no-show at practice this week. It seems Haynesworth, who already has collected $32 million on the $100 million contract he signed last year, is miffed at the team’s switch from a 3-4 defense to a 4-3 alignment, and wants to be traded.

Even his teammates are supporting the team’s attempt to reclaim some of the money they’ve paid to Haynesworth, who was a bust in his first year with the club.

Say this for Haynesworth: He might be a selfish, childish jerk, but at least the former Tennessee Volunteer waited until he turned pro to get paid.

Um … as far as we know.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Silence not always golden

Poor Tim Floyd.

The former Southern California basketball coach is aggrieved the USC administration didn’t support him when a former handler for O.J. Mayo — Floyd’s onetime one-season star — said he had received an envelope full of cash from Floyd, and that Mayo received gifts and money while playing for the Trojans.

All serious NCAA violations.

Floyd, who has hooked on as an assistant with the NBA’s New Orleans Hornets, is also unhappy so many people believe he was dirty.

“O.J. came to us, no shenanigans, no promises of money, of anything. O.J. the young man lived his college life with no car, no apartment. I just wish people would do research.”

Well, Tim, I did some research — on you, and I discovered that in the wake of Louis Johnson’s allegations, you said nothing — nada, niente, bupkis — to defend yourself. You ran from reporters with same speed Mayo uses in jacking up a shot.

Then you quit.

Now, the Garbo routine and the quitting might not be proof of guilt, but it doesn’t make me feel disposed to believe you now.

Cheaters never prosper? Au contraire

Kelvin Sampson cheats at Oklahoma, putting the hurt on the Sooners, then cheats at Indiana, nearly destroying that program. His punishment? An $800,000 “go-away-but-don’t-sue-us” package and a job as an assistant with the Milwaukee Bucks.

At Southern California, Tim Floyd allegedly not only looks the other way as money and other goodies are funneled to star guard O.J. Mayo, he reportedly acts as his own bagman in laying a cool thousand in cash on a Mayo associate. As a result, the Trojans might get hammered by the NCAA — an investigation is ongoing — but Floyd already has landed on his feet with an assistant’s job with the New Orleans Hornets.

The NBA Cares — about dirty coaches. Talk about your old-boy network.

Is this really a surprise?

If you believe the reports about O.J. Mayo — about the green that the hoopster was given in high school and later at USC while supposedly an “amateur” — you won’t be surprised to hear that Mayo allegedly ordered $150,000 in custom jewelry and then somehow forgot to pay for it.

According to a recently filed lawsuit, Mayo’s order included a diamond bangle, diamond ring, diamond necklace, watch and bracelet.

Mayo’s not talking about the accusations against him, but then, he never does. That’s what lawyers are for, right?

I just hope his attorneys are getting paid up front …

Friday column: This silence is not golden, but all too common

Accountability is big in sports — in concept, anyway — and is preached constantly, sometimes with the help of visual aids.

I remember former NFL coach Bum Phillips famously brandishing a short piece of white cord — the idea being, as I recall, that players were accountable to each other like mountain climbers. If you were headed over a cliff, you really needed the person on the other end to “hold the rope.”

But while accountability is preached in Toyland, it often is not practiced.
Take Tim Floyd at USC.

The Los Angeles Times said that at his team’s March 31 banquet, the men’s basketball coach pleaded with his most talented players to not turn pro but stay and help the Trojans win an NCAA title.

The next day — April fools! — Floyd flew to Tucson to interview for the University of Arizona job.

In May, Floyd — whose program already was the target of an NCAA probe into alleged goodies provided to former “one-and-done” star O.J. Mayo — was accused of acting as his own bagman in handing $1,000 in cash to a Mayo associate during the “recruitment” process.

More Trojan players and recruits jumped ship.

Tuesday, Floyd did, too, but how he did it is revealing. He gave a newspaper in his home state of Mississippi his resignation letter — before faxing it to USC. He told the newspaper he “intended” to contact his players and assistants — then turned off his cell phone. And presumably hid in the cellar.

To be fair to Floyd, who in his last weeks never so much as issued a simple denial of the charges facing him, he’s pretty much following USC’s modus operandi.

The Trojans’ football program is also under investigation for alleged NCAA infractions — serious infractions — yet neither coach Pete Carroll, athletic director Mike Garrett nor school President Steven Sample will say “boo” about the matter.

Things aren’t much better a few miles away at Dodger Stadium, where Manny Ramirez did talk to the press — but refused to answer questions about his 50-game drug suspension.
Ramirez said he had apologized to his teammates, fans and ownership but felt no need for further discourse. I guess being a star doesn’t mean never having to say you’re sorry but does mean never having to explain exactly what you’re sorry for.

“I didn’t kill nobody, I didn’t rape nobody, so that’s it,” Ramirez said.

Rape and homicide — so that’s where the accountability bar is set.

By that standard, Ramirez, Floyd, Carroll, Garrett and Sample don’t owe us a thing.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t want any of them at the other end of my rope.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Can’t Tim Floyd afford a bag man?

Yahoo! Sports is reporting that USC basketball coach Tim Floyd allegedly graced a man with $1,000 in cash in 2007 to help steer star guard O.J. Mayo to the Trojans for his “one-and-done” season.

Louis Johnson, a former associated of Mayo and “runner” Rodney Guillory, said he saw Floyd and Guillory meet outside a stretch of Beverly Hills cafes on Valentine's Day in 2007. When Guillory returned to his car, where Johnson was waiting, he had the cash.

Johnson has given this information to investigators from the U.S. Attorney's Office, FBI, IRS and the NCAA.

A former sportswriter, Johnson said the moment he locked eyes with Floyd outside the café was telling. "He knew who I was, a writer," Johnson said. "I read body language well. He was uneasy. It was written all over his face."

USC, which is facing a major NCAA investigation not only over Mayo’s recruitment but also over money and benefits allegedly given to football star Reggie Bush, isn’t talking. Neither is Floyd.

How about a simple denial, Tim? No?

This isn’t looking good for the cardinal and gold.

Friday column: Bad cornerback — bad, bad, bad ...

It happens all the time.

An athlete at a big-time collegiate jock factory does something stupid. The coach is pressed by reporters to reveal if there will be consequences. The coach says “certainly,” then wriggles out of saying what those consequences are.

Southern California football coach Pete Carroll is the latest to take the Weasel Way.
Carroll said that yes, cornerback Shareece Wright would be disciplined for an incident that led to his being charged with felony resisting a police officer. And, Pete, that discipline is ...?

“When we have situations and issues to deal with, we always do so internally,” Carroll said.

Oh.

We know the discipline won’t involve any loss of playing time, because Carroll said early in the week that if the injured Wright was medically cleared to play (turns out he wasn’t) he’d be on the field Thursday night.

Since Pete won’t tell us what the discipline is, we’re free to speculate. My guess is that Wright will be hit sharply on the helmet with a rolled-up newspaper.

***
On the other hand, in the Wright incident no one at USC has lied — as far as we know — which distinguishes the Trojans from many athletes who ply their trade in the National Basketball Association.
In just the last few weeks we’ve had:
* Rookies Darrell Arthur and Mario Chalmers deny smoking marijuana despite enough apparent reefer madness to set off a hotel-room smoke alarm.

* Another first-year player, Michael Beasley, originally deny involvement in the same pot incident before copping to the truth.

* Golden State guard Monta Ellis lying to his team about how he suffered a serious ankle injury months after signing a six-year, $66 million contract extension.

* And no list of NBA prevaricators should exclude O.J. Mayo, who in May denied receiving improper benefits from an agent in high school and college.

Last month, the agent, Calvin Andrews, was suspended for a year by the NBA Players Association for unspecified recruiting improprieties regarding guess who? — Mayo — which means somebody doesn’t believe him.

Since that action, Mayo, smartly, has made himself unavailable to reporters.

***
Ah, if only Josh Howard could learn to make himself unavailable for comment.
Howard, who in April felt the need to profess his love for cannabis, in July at a charity flag-football game looked into a cell-phone camera and said, “ ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ is going on. I don’t even celebrate that shit. I’m black.” Howard then disparaged America’s first serious African American presidential candidate.

I don’t think even Pete Carroll would think a sharp rap with a rolled-up newspaper is sufficient for Howard; I suggest a muzzle.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.