Thursday, April 9, 2009

Words, words, words

So.

The “war on terror” has become an “overseas contingency operation.”

“Toxic assets” are becoming legacy assets.

George Orwell would be spinning in his grave if political spin-doctors hadn’t rotated him out of the earth years ago.

Sports has never been immune to Newspeak. Coaches have been calling loses “moral victories” for decades. Yet it seems Toyland is not taking full advantage of the linguistic flexibility being shown in Washington, D.C.

For instance, UConn men’s basketball coach Jim Calhoun could paint the misdeeds that led to the current NCAA probe into his recruiting practices as an “oversight investigatory job-stimulus program.”

Now, let’s see … what could the Yankees call the fans who bought season tickets in certain sections of the bleachers of New York’s new stadium — only to find their seats have obstructed views of the field? Considering the way the team has played opening the season, how about blessed?

Just asking

Wait a minute.

An arbitrator has ruled the New York Giants can’t recoup $1 million from the signing bonus of Plaxico (Quick Draw McGraw) Burress because money already earned, such as a signing bonus, can’t be forfeited even if a player subsequently gets into trouble.

But according to Burress’ contract, a portion of his bonus is to be repaid "if the player was unable to perform due to his own misconduct."

Doesn’t shooting yourself in the thigh with your own (unregistered) gun at a nightclub — leading to a hospital stay, an arrest and a club suspension — qualify as the player’s own misconduct?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

At least he's not screaming about 'practice!'


Well, that didn’t take long, did it?

When Allen Iverson was told he would have to come off the bench for the Detroit Pistons, he said he was OK with it.

To help the team win a title, he said, he’d do "whatever it takes."

Less than a month later, he not as sanguine about his new role.

"I'd rather retire before I do this again," Iverson said this week. "I can't be effective playing this way. I'm not used to it. It's tough for me both mentally and physically. If I'm able to go out there, I should be able to get it done and I can't right now.”

Coming off the bench is tough for a lot of players; yet a lot of players manage to do it, manage to play well, and manage to do it without threatening to quit.

Ah — nothing like a diva with diminishing skills.

Personally, I don’t see the value


OK. Some of the seats at the new Yankee Stadium and the Mets’ new Citi Field are reasonably priced (for the times), and that’s nice.

What’s not nice is some of those seats have restricted views. How restricted? Well, according to The New York Times, one Mets fan who bought a 15-game package discovered he couldn’t see the warning track or about 20 feet of the outfield from the left-field line to center field. “In other words,” the fan said, “I will only know if a home run is hit if I am listening to a radio at the game or I wait to see the sign from the umpire.”

But that Mets fan is lucky.

In Section 201 of the new Yankee Stadium, fans won’t be able to see left field at all and, in some cases, not even third base. Why? Because their view is blocked by the walls of the Mohegan Sun Sports Bar, which sits above Monument Park behind the center-field fence.

The Yankees are mounting five flat-panel screens on each side of the restaurant’s outer walls so fans can see on television what they miss live.

Ah, take me out to the ball … I mean, take me out to the flat-panel TV screens.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/01/sports/baseball/01seats.html?ref=baseball

Friday column: Getting to the heart of things isn't easy


Roger Goodell wants to search the heart of Michael Vick.

I wish him luck.

In discussing the former Atlanta quarterback’s chances of being reinstated to the NFL, the commissioner said, “I think it’s clear he’s paid a price, but to a large extent he’s going to have to demonstrate … that he has remorse for what he did and that he recognizes mistakes that he made.”

Vick has apologized, but Goodell is looking for more than words; he’s looking for something that indicates true repentance, not just regret for getting caught.

But how does one judge a person’s heart, especially when there’s incentive — in Vick’s case, millions of dollars from a resumed NFL career — to feign contrition?

Candor was the question facing Houston Texans running back Ryan Moats and his wife this week when Officer Robert Powell apologized for turning a traffic stop into a scene from RoboCop.

Powell acted like a jerk after pulling over Moats for running a red light as Moats and his wife tried to get to a hospital to see her mother in the final minutes of her life. Powell not only was not sympathetic, he pulled his gun and pointed it at Tamishia Moats when she kept walking toward the hospital and her dying mother.

It’s worth noting that Powell’s apology came through his lawyers, and that it’s not the first time the officer has been accused of over-reacting, leaving him on thin ice with the Dallas Police Department.

Despite that, on Monday the couple accepted the apology. Ryan Moats did add, however, “I hope it’s sincere.”

Ah, there’s that heart thing again.

If motive for proffered remorse is suspect for a man trying to reclaim a fortune or a man trying to keep his job, how about for a man facing a life sentence for torture and murder?

Tuesday, Kaing Guek Eav — better known as Duch — former commandant of a Khmer Rouge torture house, apologized in a Cambodia courtroom, saying, “I would like to express my heartfelt sorrow.”

Prosecutors were unimpressed, noting that Duch’s contrition didn’t come until many years later. The time lag, of course, doesn’t preclude the sorrow from being genuine. But who knows?

I will say this: Duch struck the right chord when he said, “My current plea is that I would like you to please leave an open window for me to seek forgiveness.”

Powell resigned Wednesday, which doesn’t change the fact that Moats and his wife left an open window for him. Was their acceptance of his apology justified? If Vick and Duch are believed, will that belief be justified?

Some 14 centuries ago, a Hebrew prophet named Jeremiah said it best: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

As I said, I wish Goodell luck. Anyone judging hearts needs it.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Sportsman of the Year

Yes, I know it’s early in 2009, but I’d be surprised if anyone can top the sportsmanship of one Michael Kinahan, coach — make that former coach — of a youth soccer team in Scituate, Mass.

The Boston Globe reported that Kinahan, trying to pump up his team for the coming season, named his players “Green Death,” urged them to eat undercooked red meat and stressed the importance of winning at all costs.

In a letter to his players, Kinahan said, “I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers,” and said they should be ready to play like a “Michael Vick pit bull.”

Players should prepare, Kinahan wrote, for “bumps, bruises and (to) even bleed a little,” and Kinahan promised to “heckle” the league’s young referees.

But any heckling Kinahan will do this season will come from the stands, as he has quit as coach of “Green Death.” It appears that parents took offense at his letter — though I can’t see why.

After all, 6- and 7-year-old girls have to grow up sometime.

Just in time for the Final Four

Recommended reading:

If you like probing the seedy side of “amateur” basketball, check out Greg Cote’s Miami Herald piece on the at McDonald's All-American game, also known as an “overglorified culmination of a dubious, sleaze-tinged underbelly of All-American excess and greed.”

http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/story/977838.html

Then there’s William C. Rhoden’s column in The New York Times on what he calls the “extensive trafficking in players” that funnels high school phenoms — and often their coaches — to the next level.

Can you say meat market? Rhoden can.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/30/sports/ncaabasketball/30rhoden.html


There are two good columns on John Calipari’s move from Memphis to Kentucky.

ESPN’s Pat Forde writes about Calipari’s checkered past and how the Wildcats’ desperation to recapture past glory might backfire.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=forde_pat&id=4032093&sportCat=ncb

Speaking of desperation, Geoff Calkins has a terrific piece in the (Memphis) Commercial Appeal about a city so pathetically intent on winning college basketball games that citizens staked out Calipari’s house, practically begging him to stay with the Tigers.

Writes Calkins: “This kind of thing can’t possibly be all about basketball, can it?

“And it’s not, of course. It’s about our fragile sense of ourselves. When Calipari was on national television, Memphis was on national television. When Calipari was winning big, Memphis was winning big.

“So what if the city had a lousy mayor and an empty Pyramid and a soul-crushing problem with crime? It had a totally kick-butt basketball coach.

“And now the basketball coach was leaving. Going to Kentucky. Leaving Memphis with the mayor and The Pyramid and the crime.”

http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2009/apr/01/we-learned-little-more-about-john-calipari/