Friday column: A question of context Not really

James Harrison wants us to know that context is important.

“I did make comments about my teammates when I was talking about the emotional Super Bowl loss,” the Steelers linebacker said in reference to a controversial Men’s Journal story. “But the handful of words that were used and heavily publicized yesterday were pulled out of a long conversation and the context was lost.”

Hmmm.

So, what context would make calling Rashard Mendenhall a “fumble machine” sound better, I wonder.

Or what frame of reference are we lacking to correctly assess Harrison’s words about his quarterback, Ben Roethlsberger: “Hey, at least throw a pick on their side of the field instead of asking the D to bail you out again. Or hand the ball off and stop trying to act like Peyton Manning. You ain’t that and you know it, man; you just get paid like he does.”

Then there’s the anti-gay slang word Harrison used to describe NFL boss Roger Goodell, whom he also called “a crook” and “the devil” and whom said he “hated.” There was worse, actually, but you get the picture.

Harrison teammate Lawrence Timmons doesn’t. According to Timmons, James is a really great guy who’s just … wait for it … that’s right — misunderstood.

The misunderstanding is all Harrison’s.

At 33, Harrison’s no child. If he lets resentment and ego open his mouth and says stupid things to a national publication, he should expect as much “understanding” as a receiver gets going across the middle of the Steelers defense.

* * *

Harrison teammate Rashard Mendenhall wants us to know the importance of free speech.
Free speech is why he’s suing the parent company of Champion, the sports apparel maker; the cool million he’s seeking in damages has nothing to do with it.

Mendenhall, you see, lost his endorsement gig with Champion after tweeting offensive nonsense about the killing of Osama bin Laden.

“For Rashard, this really is not about the money,” his lawyer said. “This is about whether he can express his opinion.”

Well, yes, Rashard, you can express an opinion, and so can Champion — by ending your employment.

* * *

North Korea wants us to know that sometimes things happen beyond our control.
Its loss to the U.S. in the Women’s World Cup, for instance, was the result of five of its players being struck by lighting at practice.

Really.

Oh, and so was the fact that several of its players tested positive for steroids. It has to do with musk deer and glands and traditional Chinese medicine but it all started with that darned lightning strike.

Lightning strike — the sort of thing usually referred to as an Act of God, a legal term for events outside of human control. But as North Korea imposes atheism on its people and doesn’t believe in God, I wonder how they …

Must be a contextual thing. Perhaps James Harrison can explain it.

Friday column: When it’s hot off the synapses, watch out

This week — for some reason — I’ve been contemplating the drawbacks to all things instantaneous, and a line from Macbeth comes to mind. At one point in the play, having decided he’s been a tad too reflective, Macbeth says, “From this moment/The very firstlings of my heart shall be/The firstlings of my hand.”

In other words, “If I think it, I should do it — now!”

As I recall, that approach doesn’t work out all that well for the king.

Why?

Nothing “instant” is good.

Not instant oatmeal, not instant coffee, not instant mashed potatoes.

Not instant messaging. Not instant photos. Certainly not instant messaging combined with instant photos.

Take Anthony Weiner.

Actually, don’t take Weiner. Take another New York congressman, from another era, a politician with similar … urges, say.

Roscoe Conkling will do.

In 1860, Conkling, like Weiner, was a politician on the rise. Like Weiner, he was married but had a wandering eye. Now, imagine Roscoe getting a letter from a female admirer from Texas telling him that he was “hottt” (or the 19th-century equivalent).

Now imagine Roscoe entering the studio of Matthew Brady and asking the famed photographer to take a daguerreotype of him — as quickly as possible. A Pony Express rider is leaving for the Lone Star State in just a few hours.

“You’re in luck, Congressman. I just had a cancellation. Sit right down. Is this a head shot or full-body?”

“Actually, I’d like you to make an image of my … ”

“Yes … ”

“An image of … ”

“Yes?”

“Never mind.”

Even if Roscoe had somehow gotten his desired photo, he’d still have to package it, address it, and hand it to the Pony Express rider, having in each step a moment to reflect if really — deep down — he continued to think this was all such a good idea.

No such moments of possible reflection for Anthony Weiner. Snap, attach and send. Bim. Bam. Boom.

(Especially Boom.)

In the world of sis-boom-bah, any number of sports stars have experienced the pain of TWiTing (Tweeting Without Thinking). Brett Favre, amateur photographer, knows all about it. So does political philosopher Rashard Mendenhall, to name just two.

And so do sports columnists, most notably The Washington Post’s Mike Wise, suspended for a month last year after fabricating and tweeting a “scoop” on Pittsburgh’s Ben Roethlisberger.

(Must have seemed like a good idea at the time.)

Still, more and more journalists are tweeting these days and actually have followers.

So, you ask, when will The Anti-Fan open a Twitter account and start letting fly with unedited thoughts?

Not. Going. To. Happen.

Why?

Nothing instant is good.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Friday column: What kind of person tweets nonsense?

“What kind of person celebrates death?"

If Rashard Mendenhall’s tweet had stopped there, he would have been OK.

I have my own questions about the rah-rah nature of the reaction to the killing — the justified killing — of Osama bin Laden. Two Tao Te Ching lines from my Eastern mysticism days came to mind:

“Go to war as if conducting a funeral” and “the victory celebration is a funeral service.”

After watching TV coverage of the story, the Los Angeles Times’ James Rainey wrote that the reaction to bin Laden’s killing was “in inverse proportion to how closely 9/11 touched their lives.

“Those closest to the hijacked jets — victims’ families, surviving New York City firefighters, colleagues of flight attendants who died — greeted bin Laden’s death with solemnity. Those who came to know the terrorist mastermind mostly as a symbol — the young who grew up under the terrorist threat but didn’t suffer personal losses — tended to holler, preen for cameras and carry on as if they were watching a ballgame.”

A Roman Catholic priest, Howard Beck, made a related point on Fox News, saying that even when deadly force is justified, it remains “a necessary evil” and shouldn’t be celebrated “like a Super Bowl win.”

Mendenhall, who has played in two Super Bowls with Pittsburgh, knows something about that atmosphere. Using that experience, he might have made a similar point as the priest, then gotten off the stage — in this case, Twitter.

Alas.

Referring to the man who orchestrated the Sept. 11, 2011 attacks that killed thousands, Mendenhall opined, “It’s amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We’ve only heard one side … ”

I don’t know where Mendenhall’s head is when it’s not in a Steelers helmet, but Al-Jazeera has been broadcasting bin Laden tapes for a decade, his writings have been published, and his biggest statements — those written in the blood of others — are rather hard to misinterpret.

“We’ve only heard one side” is bad enough. But Mendenhall’s tweet got worse.

“We’ll never know what really happened,” he wrote. “I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style.”

Lest we think this conspiracy babble outrageous, Mendenhall went on to tell us he was just encouraging us to think, adding, “There is not an ignorant bone in my body.”
Look again, Rashard.

After a predictably negative reaction by his employers, Mendenhall tried a little damage control, apologizing for “the timing as (sic) such a sensitive matter” and trying to get back to his original point — all the while ignoring the most inflammatory of his posts.

In this Internet world, good luck with that, Rashard. Like herpes and extinction, tweets are forever.

Mendenhall styles himself a “conversationalist and professional athlete.” If he wants to continue being the latter, he might want to rethink being the former.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.