This week — for some reason — I’ve been contemplating the drawbacks to all things instantaneous, and a line from Macbeth comes to mind. At one point in the play, having decided he’s been a tad too reflective, Macbeth says, “From this moment/The very firstlings of my heart shall be/The firstlings of my hand.”
In other words, “If I think it, I should do it — now!”
As I recall, that approach doesn’t work out all that well for the king.
Why?
Nothing “instant” is good.
Not instant oatmeal, not instant coffee, not instant mashed potatoes.
Not instant messaging. Not instant photos. Certainly not instant messaging combined with instant photos.
Take Anthony Weiner.
Actually, don’t take Weiner. Take another New York congressman, from another era, a politician with similar … urges, say.
Roscoe Conkling will do.
In 1860, Conkling, like Weiner, was a politician on the rise. Like Weiner, he was married but had a wandering eye. Now, imagine Roscoe getting a letter from a female admirer from Texas telling him that he was “hottt” (or the 19th-century equivalent).
Now imagine Roscoe entering the studio of Matthew Brady and asking the famed photographer to take a daguerreotype of him — as quickly as possible. A Pony Express rider is leaving for the Lone Star State in just a few hours.
“You’re in luck, Congressman. I just had a cancellation. Sit right down. Is this a head shot or full-body?”
“Actually, I’d like you to make an image of my … ”
“Yes … ”
“An image of … ”
“Yes?”
“Never mind.”
Even if Roscoe had somehow gotten his desired photo, he’d still have to package it, address it, and hand it to the Pony Express rider, having in each step a moment to reflect if really — deep down — he continued to think this was all such a good idea.
No such moments of possible reflection for Anthony Weiner. Snap, attach and send. Bim. Bam. Boom.
(Especially Boom.)
In the world of sis-boom-bah, any number of sports stars have experienced the pain of TWiTing (Tweeting Without Thinking). Brett Favre, amateur photographer, knows all about it. So does political philosopher Rashard Mendenhall, to name just two.
And so do sports columnists, most notably The Washington Post’s Mike Wise, suspended for a month last year after fabricating and tweeting a “scoop” on Pittsburgh’s Ben Roethlisberger.
(Must have seemed like a good idea at the time.)
Still, more and more journalists are tweeting these days and actually have followers.
So, you ask, when will The Anti-Fan open a Twitter account and start letting fly with unedited thoughts?
Not. Going. To. Happen.
Why?
Nothing instant is good.
Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.
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