Friday column:

It’s not easy being green.

Not to mention red, black, rust or any other darn color one can choose to be when one is an octopus.

Such as Paul.

Yes, that Paul — the prognosticating polypus, who since his amazing run of picking World Cup winners (and losers) has been forced to constantly look over his shoulders.

First, the Argentines were after him because he chose against “La Albiceleste.” Then the Germans wanted him pickled for favoring Spain over the “Nationalelf.”

That was bad enough. But now Paul has a new enemy, a soon-to-be nuclear power, no less — yes, the Islamic Republic of Iran.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, taking a much-needed break from condemning Israel and crushing internal dissent — being an anti-Semitic tyrant does take energy — recharged recently by railing against the amazing myriapod.

In a recent speech in Tehran, Ahmadinejad referenced Paul several times, accusing the creature of spreading “western propaganda and superstition” and claiming that Paul is a symbol of decadence and decay among “his enemies.”

“Those who believe in this type of thing,” he said, “cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values.”

Ah, Mahmoud, if I may — gently — suggest a ride on the Clue Bus: No one in the West truly believes that Paul is psychic. We have a word for an octopus “picking” the winner of seven straight World Cup matches: coincidence.

(Not that I wouldn’t have considered putting a hundred or so on Spain in the finals, if I were a betting man. A hot streak is a hot streak, after all).

Ahmadinejad’s inability to see this, of course, speaks to the question of aspiring to human perfection, a pursuit that’s not only a fool’s errand but dangerous, as it sometimes leads to such things as the eugenics movement and the Third Reich.

Speaking of the latter, Paul — as far as we know — has never denied the historicity of the Holocaust. Which, in my book, puts him one up Ahmadinejad.

Then there’s the question of a sense of humor, of understanding the pleasure of sheer whimsy, which also seems to be a problem for the Supreme Leader.

Not so for the octopus.

According to the National Geographic website, “Many octopuses show behavior that suggests curiosity, consciousness, and even a sense of humor, said Eugene Linden, author of the 2002 book The Octopus and the Orangutan: More True Tales of Animal Intrigue, Intelligence, and Ingenuity.”

That would make it: Paul 2, Ahmadinejad 0, a representative World Cup soccer score.

Paul could have predicted it.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.