Friday column: Money has nothing to do with it

Plaxico Burress doesn’t like New York Giants coach Tom Coughlin, which he made clear in a recent interview for Men’s Journal.

Burress discussed Coughlin’s reaction to the wide receiver accidentally shooting himself in a nightclub — a gun-law violation for which he would spend 20 months in prison.
“After my situation happened,” Burress said, “I turned on the TV and the first words out [Coughlin’s] mouth was ‘sad and disappointing.’

“I’m like, forget support — how about some concern? I did just have a bullet in my leg. And then I sat in his office, and he pushed back his chair and goes, “I’m glad you didn’t kill anybody!’ Man, we’re paid too much to be treated like kids. He doesn’t realize that we’re grown men and actually have kids of our own.”

As a Pittsburgh Steeler, this grown man was fined for not bothering to show up for practice. As a New York Giant, he sulked and reportedly feigned injury when unhappy with his contract and was suspended and fined for violating team rules.

This grown man twice has had temporary restraining orders issued against him after domestic disturbances. This grown man has been sued nine times since joining the NFL in 2000, including by a woman who claims Burress’ $140,000 Mercedes Benz hit the back of her car, causing her permanent injury. The accident occurred three days after the millionaire athlete’s insurance had been canceled for nonpayment of premium.

Burress is 34.

* * *

Kurt Busch doesn’t like the truth, an attitude he displayed in a couple of ways Saturday after a NASCAR race in which he tangled with Jimmie Johnson — again.

Joe Menzer’s mild questioning of Busch about his contentious relationship with Johnson resulted in the driver yelling expletives at Menzer and calling him names. Reportedly, Busch had to be physically restrained from going after the NASCAR.com reporter.

Later, Jenna Fryer of The Associated Press asked Busch a question about the driver claiming to be “in Johnson’s head” only to be cut off with “I didn’t say that.”

Shown the transcript, Busch grabbed it from Fryer and tore it up and threw it down.

Busch has a history of run-ins with other drivers and is no stranger to poor decisions — witness his 2005 arrest on charges of drunken driving and reckless driving.

Busch is 33.

* * *

The Williamses — Serena in particular — do not like facing up to facts.

Type in Serena’s name followed by the word “blame” and you’ll find “Williams blamed a headache,” “Williams blamed the tennis balls,” “Williams blames not tying her shoelaces right” and so on.

On Sunday, her mother, Oracene, took up Serena’s cause after her loss to Samantha Stosur in the finals of the U.S. Open, a loss low-lighted by Williams’ invective against the chair umpire that included the following:

“Aren’t you the one who screwed me over last time here? Do you have it out for me?

“You’re out of control.”

“You’re a hater, and you’re just unattractive inside.”

In 10 days Serena will be 30.

Serena, of course, also blew up in a 2009 U.S. Open semifinal when called for a foot fault against Kim Clijsters, her profanity-laced tirade at a line judge leading to a $10,000 fine from the U.S. Tennis Association and a record $82,500 fine from Grand Slam committee director Bill Babcock.

Oracene seemed to encapsulate the family attitude Sunday when she told reporters, “It’s just always something. And it seems to happen to us.”

Seems to happen to us.

It doesn’t happen to the Williams sisters; they create it. The same way they created their rise from the municipal courts of Compton, Calif., to centre court at Wimbledon.

That was their doing. Serena has won eight Grand Slam singles titles and is arguably the greatest female player in history. That’s her doing.

She’s also arguably the most boorish female player in history; that’s also her doing.

“Man,” Plaxico Burress complained, “we’re paid too much to be treated like kids.”

Really?

Friday column: The girl’s all right; the toddler, too

I think Michelle Wie had too much too soon.

Too much ability; too much publicity; certainly too much parental involvement in her golf career.

Now, according to Annika Sorenstam, she doesn’t have enough — enough interest in her sport.

“I think her focus, in my opinion, should be more on golf,” the retired champion said. “She’s very distracted with school, doesn’t really play as much full time as I thought she would. I think she needs to come out here and compete more regularly.”

Wie’s reply was spot-on.

“I think everyone’s entitled to their own opinion,” Wie said. “I’m making my own decisions, though, and going to Stanford was something I needed to do for myself. It was not a decision made for my golf career, it was really solely a decision I made. It’s been one of the first things in my life I did for myself.”

In other words, it wasn’t a golf career decision, Annika; it was a life decision.

“Growing up in the spotlight, playing tournaments when I was 12, I grew up a lot faster than maybe I had to,” Wie said. “Going to college helped me be a normal 18-year-old and that was something I needed. I could keep training, but I needed something more to help me be well-rounded.

“I dreamed all my life about going to Stanford. My grandpa was a visiting professor; both my aunt and uncle went to Stanford. My dad, he didn’t get into Stanford so that was kind of a competitive thing for me. I’ve been obsessing about going there since I was 4. It was never an option for me to not go to school.”

There were times I wondered about Wie; now I rather have the feeling that she’ll be OK — and she’ll probably win a few golf tournaments, too.

* * *

As a rule, I don’t root for teams, but I’ll make an exception for Western Missouri this season after two of its football players saved a toddler from death.

Following their Aug. 23 practice, on a day when temperatures hit 95 in St. Joseph, Mo., defensive backs Jack Long and Shane Simpson were driving away when they saw a woman desperately beating on the window of a car.

They could have kept driving — someone else’s problem, you know?

They didn’t.

“We thought she maybe had locked her keys in the car, but then thought that was kind of an extreme thing to do for keys,” said Long.

Well, Teresa Gall had locked her keys in the car — along with her 17-month-old grandson, Liam. The child, after crying and vomiting, now was beginning to lose consciousness.

“I was panicked and horrified,” Gall said. “He was crying and getting sick, and I couldn’t get to him.”

Gall couldn’t break the car window. No such problem for Simpson — one swing.

“I couldn’t believe it. We were hitting the glass as hard as we could and nothing,” Gall said. “All I could think was ‘God, please send somebody.’ ”

Prayer answered. Child saved.

The players refused any money for the rescue, appropriately enough (how much is your grandchild worth?)

In any case, Go Griffons.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Friday column: Not sure I’d cash these assertions

Former NBA player Javaris Crittenton, best known for playing quick-draw (with real weapons) with then-teammate Gilbert Arenas in a gambling dispute, has a new claim to fame — murder suspect.

Police say Crittenton, who was robbed of some bling in April, thought he saw the perp walking down an Atlanta street. So, allegedly, he did what any of us would do — whip out a gun and fire from his SUV in the perp’s general direction.

Unfortunately, the specific direction turned out to be the leg of Jullian Jones, a 22-year mother of four standing outside her house. She died in surgery.

On the lam for a few days, Crittenton has now turned himself in, professing innocence. I’m sure you can take his avowal to the bank.

Of course, if you took his denial of the 2009 locker-room showdown with Arenas to the bank, you found his veracity lacked sufficient funds.

Both of Crittenton’s gun incidents (one proven, one alleged) seem beyond stupid. Yet Crittenton is not a stupid man, evidenced by his a 3.5 high school GPA. The explanation for his latest screw-up, if true, may lie not in his head, but in his heart.

Asked about his former teammate after Crittenton was put on probation and suspended for a year for the locker-room gun incident, Arenas said he had heard Crittenton had become “more hard.” More hard as in “more gansta.”

“You know, like some people turn over a new leaf when something bad like that changes their life,” Arenas said. “I heard Javaris went the other way — he became more ’hood, more hardened in that way. I don’t know if that’s the case, but that’s what I heard.”

If Crittenton is convicted and imprisoned, he’ll get all the gansta he can handle.

* * *

A fondness not for gangsta life but for John Barleycorn seems behind another incident, less damaging but still repugnant, in which a number of LSU football players were involved in a bar fight that sent four people to the hospital.

One of the victims has a facial fracture, a concussion, fractured teeth and facial and body bruises. The fractured teeth might have come courtesy of LSU starting quarterback Jordan Jefferson, whom a witness recalls seeing kicking the man in the head.

After being hit with felony charges of second-degree battery, Jefferson (along with linebacker Josh Johns) was suspended indefinitely, a miscarriage of justice that his attorney seeks to repair by asking LSU head coach Les Miles to reverse his decision.

“It is more than unjust to destroy this young man’s career if it’s all about a bunch of nothing, which is what I think,” defense attorney Lewis Unglesby said Monday.

Actually a true translation of Unglesby’s last phrase from lawyer into English would read, “which is what I am paid to think, or at least am paid to say I think.”

Not that I for a minute would question the attorney’s sincerity or his opinion of the young man in question.

I’m quite sure you can take them both to the bank.

Friday column: Changes likely? Not with cash on the table

There are real divisions in our society and in the world, and then there are made-up divisions that sometimes can match the real divisions in terms of passion.

Team sports are made-up divisions.

My team vs. your team; my city vs. your city; my school vs. your school; my colors vs. your colors.

Made-up. Silly. Infantile.

So why do made-up divisions exist? Two reasons:
1) In the form of athletic competition, such divisions often prove entertaining.

2) From such divisions there is money is to be made.
One of the ways it is made is the selling of alcohol at sporting events.

Big business.

And big trouble.

A 1999 study by the Harvard School of Public Health College concluded that 53 percent of sports fans usually binge when they drink.

Fueled by booze, fan behavior is often coarse and can turn criminal — witness Saturday’s shooting at Candlestick Park, reportedly sparked by a combination of alcohol and someone’s decision to wear a shirt that said “[Bleep] the 49ers.” Yes, the reported shooter was wearing a Raiders jersey.

Another man also was shot, and in an unrelated incident, a third man was savagely beaten in a bathroom.

Ironically, the victims were taken to the same hospital where Giants fan Bryan Stow tries to recover from a beating on opening day at Dodger Stadium, another incident apparently fueled by booze and someone’s dislike of the logo on someone else’s shirt.

Hey, take me out to the ball game!

On second thought, don’t.

I’ve played sports most of my life, and have had many wonderful moments watching sports. I am not against competition.

I am against the loss of perspective that leads to the poisoning of 130-year-old trees at Auburn, that leads to a beating in L.A., shootings in San Francisco and more fan thuggary than pro sports would like to admit.

I am against the loss of perspective that leads to universities selling their integrity for TV money and booster donations (hello, Miami and Nevin Shapiro).

Yes, I know, schools peddle their virtue for more than dollars — they do it also for the reflected glory of “their” team scoring more points than someone else’s team on a given day.

Pathetic, really.

But as in so many things, the bottom line is the bottom line.

While fans find made-up divisions entertaining, pro teams find them profitable — and more profitable with alcohol sales and alcohol sponsorship. Universities — many of which, incidentally, also sell booze in their stadiums and arenas — find that a winning football team can do more for student recruiting and for attracting alumni dollars than a lineup of top professors.

All of which means …

Despite all the hand-wringing about the corruption in Miami and the violence in L.A. and San Francisco, expect college corruption and fan violence both to continue.

Why?

Too much money to be made. And that’s not made up.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.

Somebody tell poor Al (OK, I will)

You have to feel for Al Golden.

He's the man took the Miami football coaching job without knowing about the bubbling NCAA investigation into truly mind-boggling allegations of corruption.

Before he took the reins of a program that might be line for the NCAA "death penalty," Golden sort of wishes he'd been told about the probe.

"Only if they knew," Golden said, being much more charitable than I think he'll be down the road. "If they knew this was percolating, I believe they did have a responsibility to tell me."

Trying to make lemonade out of lemons, he added, "But look, I'm happy here. My wife is happy here. We've got great kids on this team. We have commitments from 24 young men and their families that appreciate and share our core values moving forward."

Hate to break it to you, Al: You HAD commitments from 24 young men and their families. With the U looking to be on probation till, quite possibly, Kingdom Come, you can kiss those commitments goodbye.

A nugget from Andrew

After a while, you get a nose for these things.

So, as soon as I saw the deck head on the Los Angeles Times interview with Andrew Bynum, I sensed there would be gold in them thar words.

The 7-footer Lakers center last made news on the court when he viciously slammed his forearm into Lilliputian Mavericks guard J.J. Barea in Game 4 of Dallas’ sweep.

He last made news off the court by parking his BMW in two — count them, two — handicapped parking spaces at a Bristol Farms Market in Playa del Rey, then fleeing from a TV reporter wanting to ask him about it.

So when I saw a story with the headline “Andrew Bynum says Lakers 'need to come back ... ready to win' ” and with a deck that included, “He won't discuss disabled-parking reports,” it was time to go prospecting.

Didn’t take me long to find what I was looking for.

There, in the answer to a reporter’s first question, are the words, “It's about being accountable. Me included.”

Three questions later Bynum is asked, “What happened in that parking incident at the grocery store?”

And his answer: “I'm not talking about that.”

Beautiful.

Friday column: College corruption has a new face

So.

Nevin Shapiro, in prison for a 20-year stretch for devising a $930 million Ponzi scheme, tells Yahoo! Sports he provided “impermissible benefits” to 72 of the university’s football players and other “student-athletes” between 2002 and 2010.

Impermissible benefits? How would you define those, Nevin?

Well, according to The Associated Press’ account, Shapiro told Yahoo that he gave players “money, cars, yacht trips, jewelry, televisions and other gifts … Shapiro also claimed he paid for nightclub outings, sex parties, restaurant meals and in one case, an abortion for a woman impregnated by a player.”

Cash, sex parties, an abortion. Yes, I guess those qualify as impermissible. Talk about your full-service booster. Shapiro puts all previous D-I sugar daddies to shame.

Shapiro, all 5-foot-5 of him, apparently liked basking in the reflected glory of strapping 19-year-old athletes while they, feigning friendship, liked basking in the bling and the babes. But when Shapiro was sent to the big house, Hurricanes past and present suddenly developed memory issues.

Nevin who?

This rather specific form of amnesia led to the well-researched and well-documented Yahoo story, with Shapiro starring as The Informer.

Hell hath no fury like a jock sniffer scorned.

“I can tell you what I think is going to happen,” Shapiro told Miami television station WFOR from federal prison in Atlanta. “Death penalty.”

“Death penalty” is slang for the NCAA banning a school from competing in a sport for at least a year. The death penalty has been given only five times in the history of college sports; programs do not recover from it easily or quickly.

And Shapiro might be right.

The NCAA on Wednesday said it has been probing Shapiro’s reputed malefactions for five months and that, if true, the allegations demonstrate the need for “serious and fundamental change” in college sports.

You think?

The Yahoo story is worth going to not only for the blow-by-blow account of Miami’s utter corruption but for the photos than help illustrate it.

There’s Shapiro in a 2003 shot, one arm around Hurricane star tight end Kellen Winslow Jr., the other holding a large bottle of … well, it doesn’t look like lemonade, in Shapiro’s VIP section of Opium Garden nightclub.

There’s Shapiro on his yacht playing best friends forever with linebacker Jonathan Vilma and lineman William Joseph.

There’s Shapiro leaning into the frame of a 2008 photo with then-basketball head coach Frank Haith, one of seven Miami coaches Shapiro says were well acquainted with his illicit activities.

But the best photo of all is a snap taken during a 2008 basketball fundraiser.

Shapiro, fairly glowing with self-esteem, is speaking into a hand-held mic. On his right, a smiling Haith rests his hand on Shapiro’s shoulder. On Shapiro’s left is university President Donna Shalala, looking like a kid at Christmas who’s just been given a shiny, red bicycle.

She’s gleefully staring at a $50,000 check from Shapiro as though it can’t be real.
Guess what, Donna? In a way — since it reportedly came from Ponzi scheme funds — it wasn’t.

But the NCAA investigation, Donna, and the possibility of the death penalty — along with the likelihood of your suddenly developing a pressing need to spend more time with your family — are very real, indeed.

College corruption has a new face, one that will be hard to top.

Go, Canes.

Contact Jim Gordon at gjames43@msn.com.