Somebody tell poor Al (OK, I will)

You have to feel for Al Golden.

He's the man took the Miami football coaching job without knowing about the bubbling NCAA investigation into truly mind-boggling allegations of corruption.

Before he took the reins of a program that might be line for the NCAA "death penalty," Golden sort of wishes he'd been told about the probe.

"Only if they knew," Golden said, being much more charitable than I think he'll be down the road. "If they knew this was percolating, I believe they did have a responsibility to tell me."

Trying to make lemonade out of lemons, he added, "But look, I'm happy here. My wife is happy here. We've got great kids on this team. We have commitments from 24 young men and their families that appreciate and share our core values moving forward."

Hate to break it to you, Al: You HAD commitments from 24 young men and their families. With the U looking to be on probation till, quite possibly, Kingdom Come, you can kiss those commitments goodbye.

Silence is (Al) Golden

Ah, football coaches. God love ’em.

I sure don’t.

Such control freaks.

Take new Miami coach Al Golden, who refuses to comment on reports that six players have been suspended for the Hurricanes’ season opener against Maryland.

Asked directly about the reported suspensions, Golden said, “If players are suspended you will be notified from our office and (spokesman) Chris Freet and me as the head coach. Right now we are not discussing any matters that are internal externally."

Yes, the “we’ll handle this internally” ploy.

Unfortunately for Golden, linebacker Ramon Buchanan’s little go-round with police is a bit too large to hide under the blanket.

Buchanan, you see, is facing felony charges after allegedly spitting on and attempting to head-butt a police officer; he’s also facing three misdemeanor charges following an incident last week.

Buchanan, 21, is said to have caused a disturbance in a restaurant bathroom in the Coconut Grove section of Miami at about 1:30 a.m. Friday. According to the cops, he was told to leave three times before being placed under arrest.

When finally arrested, Buchanan allegedly said, "I'm a UM football player and I don't give a f--- what you do. I'll get out of it. F--- the police."

Golden called it all an "unfortunate misstep.”

But he did suspend Buchanan. Had to. Even told the press about it. Had to.

Must have hated that.