Oh, and please drink responsibly …

Sometimes, when I examine a week or a fortnight’s worth of incidents in toyland, I look for a common thread. One wasn’t hard to find in a series of recent stories.

1) According to a Georgia district attorney, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger bought shots of alcohol for the 20-year-old coed — yes, that’s under the legal drinking age in Georgia — who later accused him of sexual assault.

I think it’s safe to assume that with the liquor flowing in the nightclub, Roethlisberger imbibed, too. That couldn’t have helped his decision-making which, off the field, needs all the help it can get.

2) Santonio Holmes was traded from the Steelers to the Jets after being accused of throwing a glass of booze in a woman’s face. Holmes has a history of substance abuse, and in fact will miss this season’s first four games for violating the NFL’s drug policy. I’m guessing that — somehow — the hooch that went into his mouth contributed to the hooch that allegedly flew into the woman’s face.

3) An obviously inebriated Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was caught on video bad-mouthing former coach Bill Parcells and slamming former Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. The video has gone viral on YouTube and even made it onto ESPN. If Jones hadn’t been so pie-eyed, he just might have noticed the cell phone camera pointed in his direction.

4) Word that a Notre Dame football recruit on spring break who fell to his death from a fourth-floor balcony was “very drunk” was actually news to whom? For shock value, this rates up there with the study that informed us that most people who drive the wrong way on freeways are under the influence of alcohol.